All of the Stupid People

Pictures of My Wood

2007-05-12T07:41:00.000-07:00

Yes folks, that is my wood....pretty good girth huh? As of today, Saturday the 12th, the large piece that I'm next there is all that is left to cut up. I've been dreading it for the past few weeks, but seeing as next weekend is Memorial Day, a 3 day weekend, I want to spend ZERO time doing anything with the fell tree.

I Have Wood

2007-05-08T15:14:00.000-07:00

Yes everone, I have wood and I'm proud of it. We recetly had an enormous tree removed from our front yard and I have finished cutting the limbs into smaller pieces for fire wood. So those of you interested my wood, let me know, I have plenty of wood to go around, trust me. I will post pictures of me and my wood when I find my camera.
I hope everyone is doing well in Blogger land and hope to see people when we can get together.

Baldwin Blow Up!!!

2007-04-20T21:00:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys, I had to make a simple post here. You have to listen to the call, classic shmuck.

Whaaaaaaasssssssssss Uuuuuuuuuuuuuuuup!!!

2007-04-19T17:28:00.000-07:00

Sorry guys, it's been a little while since I last posted and I know you're all hanging on the edge of your seats to hear what I have to say next. Well, A LOT has happened over the past few weeks. Most notably VT. What else is there to say? Nothing. Everyone from every end of the spectrum has said their fill.
I do, however, as with many others, have issue w/ NBC. They claim they pondered over showing what they showed as to whether or not they should. All within the this timeframe had called the FBI, while making the copy of the tapes and pictures, AND putting in their little NBC logo in the corner so everyone could see who had it FIRST. 'Oh, now we can hand it over to the authorities' (You know what.....Fuck First. I'm going to start watching 3 day old news AND advertise it. You know why, because it's the same shit they were airing 3 days ago, and I'll be just as up to date then as the ones who watched it FIRST.)

Well, me, I saw it simply by accident and couldn't believe my eyes. I mean, I expected that that's what the guy was like, but did we really need to see that? No!!! My mouth was agape, not from his insanity, but who got away w/ airing this??? In certain circumstances, my right to know does not superceed my right to exist. And a thank you again to NBC for taking our feelings into account and wanting us to know what the young man was like and why he did what he did. You know what, I don't want to know, I don't NEED to know, and honestly, does it matter??? We're all adults here, you need not coddle us anymore, and for those of us who are not or have kids(which I don't), let them know exactly what is about to transpire on their tv sets so that those people can, wait.............. could this be a possibility, BE PARENTS AND TELL THEIR CHILDREN NOT TO WATCH WHAT IS GOING TO BE ON!!!! And hey NBC, bye and bye, who ever made the decision to air the tapes and photo's, let's not be TOO much of a hypocrite here, and go fire yourself or have someone do it for you!!! Don Imus, (I have heard his show and seen it a few times on MSNBC) said some things he shouldn't have said. So what!!! All of you assholes holding up forgiveness signs for the mass murderer, Screw You!!!! A Shithead blew away 31 people, and took the cowardly way out after the fact and you want to grant him forgiveness. But Ohhhhh noooo, someone says their sorry for what they SAID, no physical harm done, no deep emotional wounds here, but you go and ramrod a guy out of his career for a stupid remark. 'But hey, let's forgive the mass murderer'. There is, not even by a long shot, a level playing field here.

Finally!!!!

2007-04-01T19:15:00.000-07:00

I'm a bit of a natural Reds fan you might say. Born in the heat of the 1975 World Series on Oct. 13th. My mother cradling me to her bosom in the hospital, watching the game on the tv in the room. From day one I was a fan. My dad even told me that when they won it that year as I was in my crib, he said he almost heard a faint "HOLY SHIT WE WON IT, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" come from the bedroom I was in. Go Reds, go Reds.

"If it smells like a ..........."

2007-03-30T14:57:00.000-07:00

So I'm on my way home today after work, already having gone to deposit my check and picking up our accounting info from our taxes. I'm JAMMING to some Van Halen with the windows rolled down on this beautiful Friday before opening day. As I roll up to the stop light to turn left to get onto Cross County Highway, I catch a whif of perfume. It was a nice aroma, dont get me wrong. It was the type that only HOT women wear, no ugly women would have the gaul to wear this perfume. I turn my head to see the girl in the car next to me.....only there's no car????? 'Where is this lovely bouquet coming from?' the internal Dan asks himself. Looking around....nothing. Where...'Oh no she di' int!!!'. No other cars around me, HOWEVER, At the gas station across the street, putting me downwind of it, was a woman all done up to the hilt!!!! It had to have been her!!!! There was no woman in a car to the front or rear of me either. And to be overpowering the lovely aroma of gasoline is another thing!!! Ladies, go light on the perfume, because as a wise friend of mine once said "If it smells like a fish, it's a dish....If it smells like cologne, leave it alone."

Scotti's

2007-03-25T09:39:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gentlemen, I know in the past I've humored you all with my luncheon endeavors. But today, I must enlighten you all on a topic that is closest to my heart.....Dinner. Last evening, Saturday, we had dinner at a place called Scotti's with another couple. (The attached menu is a little old though as the current prices a little more than what shows on the site.)
As we were deciding before the trip out on where to go, I had said I wanted something not commercialized, but I was in the mood for Italian food. So Macaroni Grill and Olive Garden were out. We came across a restaurant called Scotti's. It is downtown, easy enough to find on Vine near Court St. We weren't sure if we were going to get sat right away when we walked in because it was packed for the size it was(maybe 20-25 tables...tops). There was a table in the rear for 4 near the kitchen, one table away from the quintesential "Godfather Table". GREAT! Mark a '+' for Scotti's. The embiance was great, nice italian music and decorum. Another'+'. We had this garlic and cheese bread that made my mouth water. Keeping my mouth watering AFTER I've eaten something is worth 3 '+' marks. By the time our dinner got to the table, I was so excited. Looking around at what everyone else had ordered around us, I just couln't wait! I had the Mostaccioli ala Toscanini. If I were an idiot, I'd have fallen out of my chair, but I'm not an idiot. It was fantastic though. If I could afford a dinner like that every week, I would make it tops on my list.
To finish off the dinner, the wife and I shared a Chocolate Tiramisu. She said she never liked it, but almost creamed herself when she said she'd take a bite. So if you are wanting something nice for dinner, and willing to spend $50-60 on a nice meal, try it out, you won't be disappointed.
PS- This is me passed out in front of my car outside of the restaurant full from all of the food. Brian's sitting on the curb upset because a car backfired and he thinks I'm shot.

Where's Ohio???

2007-03-18T14:28:00.000-07:00

Yes folks, I have once more changed the name of my blog for reasons which give me a headache, but at the same time give me more material here. I was out of town this weekend and just rolled in a few hours ago. I was in Nashville visiting some friends of mine, and last night at their house, they threw a St. Patty's Day/Birthday Party(which I had no idea it was my friend's wife's B-day-she wanted to keep it quiet). As all of these new faces were rolling into the house to begin the festivities, one of the couples that were invited were Pat's next door neighbors. They were a younger couple who are doing fairly well for themselve at a very young age(eg. they are getting married next month on a private island in Tahiti. But are first stopping in Vegas to get married to make it legal. So basically the cermony in Bora Bora is only for the pictures I suppose.) They are a good looking couple by many standards (his heritage is Mexican and she's Puerto Rican-ohhh lala) and very friendly and approachable in conversation. As we conversed, it became very clear to me that the girl was friendly, but not so sharp(it's amazing how a person's good looks can affect your attention span vs. an ugly person).
I digress, I was telling her where I was from, as far as the city goes being Cincinnati. Now they just moved to Nashville from Chicago, fairly close to here geographically speaking. "Where's Cincinnati?" Now I already had a smile on my face so I just let it stay without giving my 'are you a, f'ing moron?' look. I told her what state it was in and how long it took to get to Nashville.
"About 4-4 1/2 hours" I say.
"Really?! Isn't Cin. way up north?"
Still smiling "No, we are right on the Ohio River, it's not too far."
"Oh, so Ohio's west of Illinois?"
"No, we're actually EAST of INDIANA." I was actually friendly through this whole conversation, not demeaning to her evident lack of the Geography bug.
Now I would have been a little more understanding if I'd been from an obscure town like Littleton, Arkansas, but Cincinnati is a fairly well know town. I mean the NFL last season pretty much put them on the map as far as having the most felons.
Please, everyone, buy a globe, it can be a normal one without the bumps and ridges, those are really hard to read cities. Just buy a round smooth one with all of the countries and states in different colors. For all of humanity.

I've Got Gas

2007-03-08T15:58:00.000-08:00

Ok, help me out here people. If you are, sayyyyyyy, 65 years old. If you fill up once, maybe twice a week, depending on your driving, from the time you are 16 years old to 65, how many times have you filled up at the pump in your lifetime???? You should be a seasoned veteran, right? Come on one of the Doctors, figure this out for me.
Why me, why is it always me encountering the ignorant??? I pull into the newly renovated gas station at the very end of our street on the main drag. All pumps are being used, so I do the smart thing and pull in behind the smallest car, a Ford Escort (small car+small gas tank=less time waiting for her to pump........RIGHT/a big WRONG=LONG WAIT). I'm sitting there, I listen, folks, to an entire song on my MP3 player glancing up to see if she's finished every so often....nothing yet, she's still standing there looking at the pump with it in her car's fuel door. After 3-4 minutes (again there's no way it takes an escort this long to fill up, especially since she was in the same position when I pulled into the lot). I glance up again to see her look at the screen, THEN press the 87 Octane button and THEN begins her fill up.
I can't talk about this anymore, I must eat dinner now, + I have a headache.

The New Billy Madison

2007-02-27T11:27:00.000-08:00

Well, being on vacation is so nice. I'm not at a beach or up in the mountains. We're in NC visiting the wife's family which is just as great. There's no rush to anything and everything is very laid back and EVERYONE has a house key. Yesterday in our endeavours, we went to the school of my sister-in-law's son. He's in 1st grade and we ate lunch with him. There is humor in this for those who know me and then can picture me fitting in the chairs at the gradeschool lunch table. All was grand though. It was refreshing to see that the media's viewpoint's on the depleating school system and that children being left behind are all unfounded. I had a good time seeing the kids eyes light up when they saw a new visitor in their lair. One even said "MAN, he's 7 feet tall!" Blake, the ringbearer in our wedding, ordered for us. We all had the chef salad (which for gradeschool food was really good- probably something you'd spend $7.99 on at Ruby Tuesday AND no tip necessary). We knew when it was time to get up when all of the kids started lining up on the outside wall, so we followed. As we went out the door there was a female stragler that looked a little peekid. As we went outside to go around the building bringing up the rear of the line, the little girl proceeded to toss her cookies. Let me rephrase that, the projectile vomit was quite impressive. It was neverending folks, and this was a little girl too. I don't think I could have matched that volume. I ran to the bathroom to wet down a towel for her as the sister-in-law consoled her. Poor kid. After that we were off to visit MOM, my-mother-in law, on the other side of school. She teaches 5th grade, they were a little bit more of the hellions you'd expect. Attitudes abounding. Good kids though. We weren't much different though when we were young. So have no fear, the future of our contry is not lost.
Tomorrow I'm off to hit the links with DAD, father-in-law and Adam. FORE!!!!!!!!!!!!

Drive Thru

2007-02-21T16:42:00.000-08:00

Yes, Mols, another lunch story. Today Dan was going to lunch a little early. It wouldn't have made a difference though if I HAD gone right at noon because I still would have been stuck behind the same lady I was behind 15 minutes earlier. I was CRAVING McDonald's. I hadn't had it in a while, and being the devout Catholic that I am, I had the DOUBLE filet O' fish w/ out cheese. Prior to me ordering, the lady in front of me, as she pulls up to the michrophone, rolls her window down in her SUV. I see her hand come out of the window with a WHOLE sheet of loose leaf paper. "Go ahead with your order, please" the voice says loudly. The bitch continues just as loud with "Yes, I actually have 9 separate orders". (Not 2 or the odd 3, but 9!!!!!) In the drive Thru!!!!! Now I have my window down on the van as does the construction truck behind me, and we both heard it simultaneously and said simultaneously, "YOU HAVE TO BE FUCKING KIDDING ME", loudly. She heard us as she turned and scoffed at our utility trucks. The guys behind me back out of line, fly past her honking and flipping her off, I back out and honk as well, but no flipping off for me( I was a little more courteous to the mom and 2 kids coming out of the restaurant). We both go in the same door shaking our heads and commenting on the ridiculousness and uncouthness of the 9 separate order at the drive thru. I order my said fish sandwich AFTER the other guys, walk out behind them, and she is STILL at the microphone. Not the pay window or picking up her food, STILL ORDERING!!! Fucking idiots....The world is filled with them.
On a much cuter note, pardon the pun, check this one out. She's got nothing on Olive though. We ripped out Stairway to Heaven a few weeks ago, me on drums and her playing lead guitar.

A Call Out to Babaganoush!!!

2007-02-17T06:42:00.000-08:00

Putting out the bat signal here. So I'm in the bank Friday afternoon on the way home from work. I'm waiting in line behind a comedian....sorry, I failed to mention he was a seriously redneck hilbilly telling me jokes I wasn't ready for about the Daytona 500 mixed with a few sex jokes. Yes, in line in the bank!!!

Ok 2 tellers were busy and the window teller was busy so the wait was WAYYYYYYY long and I can't even remember the joke about Jeff Gordon. The teller to the right was helping an upper middle class white couple who had no information on them in order to access their account, they were still there when I left. The lady that stepped forward as I walked in was a young attractive black woman w/ a daughter, she was a little better prepared for her transaction by the way.

My call out is this, the unprepared couple had 2 children in there w/ them screaming and yelling and running all over the place, once in front of me while running into my leg. (I know I'm bigger than them, but was it wrong to want to trip them both). The other younger woman's daughter waited patiently by her side holding her pants leg. Question: What is the secret behind good parenting?" It seems as though every time I go out more times than not, the caucasian children are out of control. It's almost like younger black children see the fear of God in their mothers and fathers, I think I almost see it too. I want to be a good black parent some day....what is the secret?
Dr., if you can help, I'll take any suggestions I can get.

Throwing My Name in that Hat

2007-02-09T17:01:00.000-08:00

Ok, so far there are 3 men, the most recent being Zsa Zsa Gabore's husband, who is in the running for a nearly $500,000,000 estate. Since Ms. Smith's abrupt and unsuprisingly early death, her newborn daughter is now an orphan of the state. Who's is she??? Well ,folks whoever can be proven to be her biological parent, stands to gain a fair share of the amount shown above. So this is my story:
A little over a year ago, I went off to "Lutron Training". Or that's what I told my wife. I was secretly in Vegas winning hundreds of thousands of dollars w/ my older brother while we wore the same light blue suits, ala Rainman. While at the high roller's table, Ms. Smith was struck with the bolt of lightning we call LUST. As she turned her head, and her eyes caught mine, it was destiny. We strolled up to my suite, with the bed put up by the window over looking Vegas, again ala Rainman. It was a porno in the making, when the moment was just about to happen she lowered herself over me and knocked me unconcious with the mountains we've all come to call, well, Anna's tit's. I don't remember anything after that. The next thing I remember is waking up with a note in the shape of an airplane on my pillow and the song 'Take My Breath Away' playing in an unlocated radio within the room. I miss that woman, she was my destiny. I think I might be the next multimillionaire....I mean father of the baby. (This is a comment thrown in after publication, but doesn't this picture just make you smile? The more and more I look at it, I smile. They, I mean she just looks really happy right here.)

Seriously though folks, all joking aside. The woman was 39 years old. She was swept up in the world of hollywood and glamour and HAD to have finally come to the realization that she was where she was because of what she looked like and what she had physically. Not because of her brains, or personality, or acting skills. It really is a shame that those are the perameters for acceptance in the world of glitz and glamour. RIP, Ms. Smith, after years of speed and amphetamines, you need the rest.
PS- I searched and searched for a tastefully done image that wouldn't offend anyone. There actually were many to choose from and in my infinate wisdom of photography, this was the one I picked. In my searching, I found that she really was pretty photogenic.

Global warming???

2007-02-05T15:23:00.000-08:00

Nice that I'm posting this when it's only 'Ah' degree outside, huh. But there's something I've looked into that is quite interesting. Global Warming a farse??? Over the past DECADE, there have been extremely harsh and cold weather in the North Atlantic. There have been unnusually large ice flows around Iceland and Greenland and up and into the Arctic Ocean where "experts" say the ice is melting. Now I know it's pretty F'ing cold right now here, but over the past few weeks it has been in the 30's and 40's, right?? Fairly mild. Now it stands to reason that when it's 30 to 40 degrees here, it's EASILY going to be @40 to 50 degrees colder, AT THE VERY LEAST in the Arctic Circle, I'd even venture to say upwards of 60 degrees colder, OR MORE. Guess what water freezes, AND STAYS FROZEN, until it reaches 32 degrees F. We all learned this in gradeschool.... we're not stupid, are we. It's actually quite simple.

There are, however, area's where there are Glaciers MELTING and guess what they are finding under these glaciers??? Hmmm???? ANCIENT Norse civilizations. Yes, the Earth was warmer at one point than it is now and people lived in these now frozen areas and planted crops. Way warmer. No, George Bush didn't lift up the glacier with a thermonuclear-anti-particle ray beam and plant these civilizations under the glaciers to prove a point of the already proven constant shifting in climates ( I know there are crazies out there who may think that is the case). Hell, England even used to have vast lands of grape vineyards for wine, BUT it became way too cold over the years to do so.

It always seems that the media wants to make the world a small little place in our TV sets at home when we're making dinner or what not. Negative news is BIG news, and if some Yahoo says the sky is falling, guess where all of the reporters go??? Outside with their camera's pointed up in the air. In all actuality, folks, the Earth's a pretty fucking big place. Go up in a plane, WAY UP THERE and look down, you're only looking at a small portion of Kentucky or Tennessee, there's a lot more left out there. We are but puppets my friends in this game we call life.
The other day an ecological scientist on a local or nationwide ( I can't remember) news interview, was quoted as saying that "Yes, humans are actually contributing to global warming, however there is no real concerted effort that we can do to make things any better". So I guess what the guy is saying is, 'ladies and gents, we tried, everyone go home, give up, buy every last SUV that gets 12 or less MPG, and drive at excessive speeds to reduce the mileage even further while using hairspray w/cfc's with the windows down.'

I officially give up, I suppose we're damned if we dop and damned if we don't. I'm moving to Mars w/ Marvin.

Class is over.

Tagged??? We played 'fart tag' at a place I used to work....is this the same???

2007-01-31T17:09:00.000-08:00

Hmmmmm, since I have been called out on this, I suppose I must oblige. However this may be an endeavor of about 3 hours since I see myself as the most perfect man alive and without quirks.

1). My ideal place on this planet, not shared by the Mrs., is a mountain top cabin. It doesn't have to just be in the spring or summer, due to the fact that I have an insatiable appetite for the coldest days that come to this godforsaken midwest town of ours. I would hunt, although I never have, I would fish, and I would learn to knit blankets and live off of the land. Then go back to the cabin for some more HDTV viewing. All of this done while the rest of society flocks to the beaches of America while peeing in the ocean.

2). I REALLY like my job. Not many people can say this. But I've said in the past that mine is a special situation where I hold down responsibilities at 2-3 large projects at a time, and any day could take me to a different one than the previous day. An office slug I am not. I get my hands dirty every day, and I love it!!!

3). This somewhat plays off of #2. I really enjoy taking my showers at night. Right before bed. I find that I'm more relaxed after a shower and I get better rest. My wife says that I'm impossible to sleep with because I keep her up with my snoring and rustling of the sheets....but what do I care, I'm sleeping right!!!!

4). This plays off of #3. I do magic tricks in my sleep......get your minds out of the gutter. I can, without any preparation whatsoever, remove the bedsheet and the fitted sheet from underneath myself, while I sleep, without getting up out of bed, and completely bury it on the other side of the bed under my wife. It's almost like if my sleeping partner weren't in bed next to me, and a magician did the old 'pulling the table cloth out from underneath the china' trick. Only I'm the china and the sheets are the table cloth.

5). This one plays off of #1 a bit. My favorite place that I've ever vacationed is Reno, NV. Not because of Reno, but because of what lies about 45 minutes to the west in California. As I drove up away from the highway in the Rockies, the road began to wind and twist up and around this mountain and all you could see were trees all around you. And as you make your way to the summit of the mountain and make the bend around the top and look down, the most blue and clear body of water lay below me. It was as close to a religious experience as I've ever gotten(next to seeing dolphins w/in 3-4 feet of us on a boat trip in Sannibel). Lake Tahoe, my friends, is absolutely breathtaking. Take away the Northern Californians, who I am convinced come from another world entirely, and it is heaven on Earth. On a sailboat ride across the lake, we were out pretty far, I looked at the depth finder and it read 70 feet deep. I looked over the side and you could still see the bottom.

6). If I could call back one thing in life that I did or didn't do what would it be?: The only thing I've ever really have said irked me as I grew up into my 20's,
was that I wished that in high school that I had played football all 4 years. I had a talent that grew from the 4th grade, I had rhythm. I would drum on everything that I could get my hands on, and finally it drove my mom to hysteria 'JOIN A BAND!!!' And so I did. I played drums for my gradeschool band all the way through my 8th grade year, while during that year, I got my first taste of football as a starting tackle at St. Barts. For a gradeschooler, I was a big boy, me and 2 others I can think of struggled to keep our weight for the week under the 160 lb. limit. The more I played, the more I loved it. After the year was over, we had an awards ceremony, and as they handed out trophies to the individual 8th graders, the Roger Bacon highschool coach was there with our coach handing out trophies. Our coach introduced me and said "Mr. H.(we'll call him-AML, you know who this would have been at the time...rhymes with hankey) is really licking his chops for this guy." My older brother and this coach never got along, and I was afraid that the brotherly bond would carry down to me and I'd be the 'coaches ass' later on in highschool. That following summer I made an attempt at freshman football and I could already see the drippings of attitude falling onto me by word of mouth to the freshman coach. I turned to my other love, music. I made the most of it, and made it to the Quads very rapidly. I had a blast through halfway my Junior year and quit the band. I knew if I was ever going to play football again, it was my senior year and that was it. The instant I stepped onto just the practice field with pads on, I knew right then it would have meant so much more if I'd just gutted it out and did the old Bobby Boucher trick and put the 'evil coaches' head on the opponents shoulders. But on the same coin, I'll never regret NEVER playing. It was something I wanted, and I ultimately did it. ' I could have gone Pro..I bet you I can throw this football over that mountain.'

Sorry that got really deep there at the end.

One of "Those" people

2007-01-29T18:23:00.000-08:00

Lloyd Christmas: (swinging his arms back and forth wildly in the dog van) Harry, it makes you feel like you're running at an incredible rate!!

We went to see a movie the other night, 'Pursuit of Happiness', (Fantastic movie...If you've ever been down on your luck, to any extreme, see this movie.....it will make you feel grateful for what you have.) Before we left we were in a hurry, I wasn't quite sure what I had grabbed as I left out the door. I had my keys, because I drove, and my wallet, that's all I knew. We finally made it to the movie, just in time. I waited in line behind Shaniqua and Lafawnda, with their 8 children combined, and as they odered all of the stuff they "wanted", as the clerk put everything up on the counter, that's when they proceeded to ask how much each item was(ie. Icee's, giant popcorn's, large coke's, etc.). Nothing that could be just put back onto the rack, right. So I tell the wife, just go in, I'll be in by the end of the movie. I'm assuming the manager saw what was going on and saw me waiting in distress behind 'Dumb and Dumber' so she said she could help me out. 2 large drinks and a Med. popcorn, EASY. I made it in by the end of the previews. We progress through about 1 hour of the film when I heard the loud, unmistakeable sound of my cell phone go off in the middle of a silent scene. Yes folks, Dan made a mistake, I had grabbed my phone in the mad dash out the door. I know, I couldn't believe it either. Not on my watch though. The reflexes were astonishing to me. Faster than a hummingbirds wings, I reached down to silence it and turned it off before the message alarm sounded as well. I felt awful, I was one of "them".
I know I haven't posted for a while, I'm pulling double duty in MySpace land now. The sites are actually a little more fun, you can look up all kinds of people and I've found 2 folks I graduated with. My site's all decorated and shit. It is so choice, if you have the means.

On a lighter side....

2007-01-13T09:08:00.000-08:00

A while back, AML did something called a 'meme'. I have time and I am exhaustes on my world affairs rant from yesterday. So here's my very own, and my very 1st MEME!!!!!:

Do you snore?: Aparently like a chainsaw.

Lover or Fighter?: Depends on the situation. Loving is so much more fun though.

What is your worst fear?: Not being able to be as good a parent to our kids/kid as my parents were. (No we're not pregnant yet). Is there a secret to being the ultimate parent??? Midgets scare me a bit too.

Were you a Lego maniac?: Absolutely!! I had many-a-lego sets and they came in handy too for forts for the GI Joe battles that commenced in the basement.

What do you think of reality TV?: I like certain ones. Mainly the ones where there is actual self improvement or a challenge involved(ie. Biggest Loser, Amazing Race, etc.)

Do you chew on straws?: No, that puts holes in it and it takes an increased sucking power to get the drink up to your lips.....way too much work involved.

Were you a cute baby?: Yes.....all 11 lbs. of Danno.

Is the single life for you?: It used to be. I had a thing when I was younger where it seemed that I wasn'ty single for more than a month at a time. I wasn't a giggilo, but I just enjoyed the company of women. I had a come to Jesus after a while and decided to take a break, and was single for over a year and found myself. When I wasn't trying was when I met my future Mrs. Danno.

What color is your keyboard?: Black...Why does it always have to be a racial thing?

Do you sing in the shower?: At times, when I know I'm alone in the house. The dog likes to lay on the floor though in the bathroom when I take a shower and when I do he peeks his head through the curtain to see what's wrong.

Have you ever bungee jumped?: No sir. Don't want to. The funny thing is that I'd jump out of a perfectly good airplane in a heartbeat.

Any secret talents?: Oh no, all of my talents are out in the open. I've been secretly working to perfect a few though. TOP SECRET.

What is your ideal vacation spot?: On a mountain in Montana or Washington somewhere for a month just to defrag my mind. Hunting, fishing, relaxing, watching satellite TV.

Can you swim?: I can swim like a Dolphin. I can even come up out of the water and move across the pool like they do without getting my trunks wet. (Thank you Mr. Reagan for that bit.)

Have you ever seen Donnie Darko?: Nope, I have no comments on why or why not. Just haven't seen it.

Do you give a damn about the Ozone:? Yes, but I think alot of the hype is just that, hype. The Ozone that gets depleated is replenished by lightning. Bet you didn't know that lightning creates Ozone. I care more about the Bzone and the Me-zone though.

How many licks to the center of a tootsie pop?: I'm not that gentle with the tootsie pop. I gnaw on them.

Can you sing the alphabet backwards?: Am I taking a sobriety test?

Electric or manual pencil sharpeners?: Electric!!! I always would scrape my knuckles on the wall with the manual ones.

Whats your stand on hunting?: I believe that if you need it to survive, it's ok. But if you can go down to Kroger and get some hamburger, what's the point? Fishing is different for me though even though it is a form of hunting, it's more of a relaxation thing for me. I have just a good time not catching anything as I would if I catch three 4lb smallmouth bass. Hunters just get pissed if they can't bag anything. And what's relaxing about sitting there quietly for hours then break the silence with an earshattering shotgun blast?

Is marriage in your future?: Every day.

Do you like your handwriting?: It's the best. I'm especially fond of my signature. I practice my baseball signature every time I sign a reciept. You know, for when I make the big leagues.

What are you allergic to?: Pennicillin. Bad Joo Joo.

When was the last time you said I love you?: This morning when the wife left for work, and when I saw myself in the mirror.

Do you cry at weddings?: Only when the kneeler falls on my toe.

How do you like your eggs?: Scrambled w/ pepper and tobasco sauce.

Are blondes dumb?: That's an insult to my race as a blonde.

Where does the other sock end up?: It gets sacrificed in the dryer and gets sent up to the laundry gods.

What time is it?: 12:40 PM.

Do you have a nickname?: Where do I begin......Cliff Clavin( I know a little bit about just about everything), Lurch, D-D-A A A A(it's a family thing, you wouldn't understand), Dan the little guy(my brother always sounded like he hada cold when he was younger, so to differentiate between Dan and Dad, that's what he'd say), and the wife calls me Mr. Big......no idea why.

Is McDonalds disgusting?: I saw Supersize me and it turned me off to fast food altogether for a while. But a Big Mac always will have a special place in my heart.

When was the last time you were in a car?: My truck, last night coming home from work.

Baths or Showers?: Don't call me gay, but on the very rare occasion I do enjoy a hot bath. But then always shower to wash the filth I've been soaking in off my body.

Is Santa real?: Yes, yes he is.

Do you like your neck kissed?: That's my sweet spot.

Are you afraid of the dark?: Only when I hear the monkey in the closet.

What are you addicted to?: Again, don't call me gay, but I'm slightly addicted to the Starbucks Caramel Machiatto.

Do you like crunchy or smooth peanut butter?: Crunchy. It breaks up the pastiness you get from the smooth.

Can you crack your neck?: Once a day, anything after that I'm risking paralysis.

Have you ever ridden in an ambulance?: When I worked at Natorp's nursery, the Christmas trees came in and when we were unloading them, one came down and hit me square in the back 3 inches to the left of my spine breaking my ribs. I cried then, but then I made myself stop for 2 reasons: #1. I couldn't breathe and #2. All of the workers huddled around me to keep me warm while I lay on the cold ground, as well as the two hotties in the greenhouse. I had to play it cool.

Is drug free the way to be?: That's the word. We as a society over medicate to an extreme amount.

Are you a heavy sleeper?: I can be. Loud noises don't wake me, but the little inconspicuous noises do.

What color are your eyes?: Ice blue

Do you like your life?: Not much I can do about it, it's the only one I've got. It's good though.

Are you a psychic?: No but I do have those de javu episodes on a regular basis.

Have you read Catcher in the Rye?: It's a good one. I'm going to have to read all of the books again that I did in highschool again just to read them without being quized on them....too much pressure.

Do you play any instruments?: I've been known to pound on a few different types of drums in the past.

Have you ever stolen any money?: I'll take a dollar out of the wifes purse to get a White Castle on the way to work in the morning sometimes.....Ooooops, the cat's out of the bag.

Can you snowboard?: Nope, I'll let my friends that do ski blow their knees out for me.

Do you like camping?: I am a mountain man if I do say so myself. I pride myself on starting a campfire in the rain w/o gasoline.

Do you snort when you laugh?:P No but the wife does sometimes when she gets going.

Do you believe in magic?: David Blaine, that's all I have to say.

Are dog's a man's best friend?: Unequivically yes.

Do you believe in divorce?: I know it's there but it's hard for me to say that I'd give up on something if there were problems. It's all in the vows. Unless there's abuse. So when she begins beating the shit out me, I'm out of here.

Can you moonwalk?: On a regular basis???

Do you make alot of mistakes?: I try not to but I leave perfection up to the Rabbit.

Is it cold outside today?: Rainy and wet......chilly.

What was the last thing you ate?: Sugar free jello w/ fruit in it w/ whipped cream on top....just like in the commercials.

Do you wear nail polish?: can't say that I do.

How many people do you like right now?: 'Keep your friends close, but your enemies closer'-The Godfather. I like keeping it on the downlow, not too many people.

What are the most annoying TV commercials?: 2 words "Trim-spa Baby".

Do you like to shop at American Eagle?: I'm a big fan of their flannel shirts.

Favorite Song right now?: "I'm bringin' Sexy Back" no seriously, I am.

Yeah AML, that does take a while. Danno, OUT!!!!

Me a politician.....Yeah right!!!

2007-01-12T19:30:00.000-08:00

Crimson Tide
Capt. Ramsey: " Now if were me asked if we should drop the bomb on Nagasaki, I would have given a simle 'Yes, by all means, drop that fucker....TWICE!' "

Ladies and Gents, in no way am I war monger. However, I do believe in fighting for a cause and defending ourselves when the time permits. We are not done in Afghanastan nor in Iraq, not by far. And to bring politics into the mix is assenine. Listen, just because it is getting harder over there, is no reason to pull out. We have become a society of instant gratification and if we can't get a Big Mac in 2 minutes, we get frustrated. War is not easy folks, it is not pretty, and it is not fast. Another thing is that Americans forget things. Of course we have never, and will never forget 9-11, but the 'why' and 'who' aspect get blurry after a while. It was mindless and barbaric and to shrug it off, and just sweep it under the rug would be an insult to the men and women who have brought the US to where it is today from their efforts in the past. (ie. my Grandma+Grandpa J.). I always make it a point to watch the documentories on the 9-11 attacks on History channel (my wife thinks I'm sick) and I watch the TRUE story movies on the different conflicts (ie. We Were Soldiers, Saving Private Ryan) just to keep the freshness of 'why we do what do and who we do it for' in my mind.

War is a terrible thing, and I can guarantee you that the first person to tell you that they hate war is the American soldier. They are the ones who must go into battle and see the things they see. And for the media to "try" to portray war from a balcony of a hotel and just portray the ugliness that goes on is a farse. My VERY BEST FRIEND, Cpt. RTH, has shown me his personal pics that are just a few of the many thousands of good stories of the locals appreciating our efforts over there. Can you immagine, even for just a second, if we had pulled out of France and Germany in WWII because it got "too difficult?" This world as we know it would not exist. Europe and Western Asia would be in shambles to this day with dictatorship. That was only 60 years ago. If we pull out now, we are vulnerable, and we bring all of whats going on over there to our streets. I'm not saying these things to scare or worry, those are the facts. Taliban wants to kill Americans, as do radical muslims in general. They wouldn't think twice about walking down the street and out of nowhere set off a car bomb, or just shooting any one of us in the face. Hell, these things go on over there every other day, whether they kill someone or not. They aren't picky as to who they kill.

I believe I've said in the past that our "PC" is going to get us killed someday. This is exactly what I mean by that. We as Americans hold human life to a higher standard. It is precious to us. The human body to a Radical is just a shell. They just flat out don't care. Our downfall is that we do, but to subverse that would make us no better than them, so this war is harder than any other in walking that tightrope.

Have we made mistakes over there? Yes. Are we winning the war? No. Are we losing the war? No again. We are at a point where more troops are going over to "the sand box" and the only issue I have with this is that it should have happened a long time ago. And screw 20,000 troops....send 40,000. If we're at war, we need to stop dicking around and make a statement. Safety in numbers is key. You hear the crazies talk about "well if we send more, more will die". No, just the opposite, if we do what 'you' want which is a slow withdrawl, our forces are weakened, that's when the shit will go down, and I mean in a bad way. Then what? You don't have an answer? Well then you shouldn't have an opinion either, so shut the hell up Pelosi.

In times of war, we must prepare for peace.....In times of peace we must prepare for war. If this country as a whole we united in this war effort, and not divided by what a few are saying, I guarantee that we would have a great victory.

This is why I'll never be a politician, I wear my heart on my sleeve and speak my mind. I just don't like being misunderstood, that's all I'm tryin' to say, that's all that I'm drivin' at....really, if you think about it, that's all.

Ron is going to be Healthy!!!!

2007-01-11T16:45:00.000-08:00

When Ron and I first met back in March of '06, things were great!!! We went everywhere together....we shopped at Home Depot, we ate at Taco Bell, Hell, we even went to work together everyday!!! (We laughed, we cried, it was better than Cats....sorry AML, had to use it) Things are still that good, but even better. I was on the E85 web site, and low and behold, there is a new E85 fueling station at the Kroger at the top of Winton Hill just under the Star 64 tower(the one that looks like the Kate Moss version of the Eiffel Tower that can be seen just about anywhere in Cincinnati.) I didn't even know there was a Kroger there. When I got the news I was so excited, I ran out to tell Ron the news. He's been bummed out that he's topping out now at over 5,000 lbs. His eyes lit up and I think I almost saw a smile under that beautiful grill of his.
For the laymen, or lay women<------(ounds cool huh?) anyway, E85 is a new blend of fuel for vehicles that are only E85 compliant. Ron is the only vehicle in the Nissan fleet right now that is. The blend is 85% ethanol fuel and 15% gasoline. Compare this to the 90% gasoline/10% ethanol mix many oil companies are using today. The gain is two-fold. The emissions are much cleaner for the environment, and it will begin the transition to the US's steps towards it's independance from middle eastern oil and the strains from OPEC.
E85 is still relatively in it's infancy stages right now and still has a kink or two to mend out, like the loss of mileage(Ron gets 19 MPG on the highway now, with E85 he'll get 17 to 16. It has to do with the alcohol being less volatile than regular gasoline.) It's being worked on right now.
So I will let you all know, not that many of you will care, about the outcomes of Ron's next fillup and any differences in driving.

Hey You Guys!!!

2007-01-10T16:10:00.000-08:00

I'm Back, Bigger Badder and Blacker. Sorry Chris Rock, I had to use it. Well the only thing worth writing about since I wrote last, outside of actually getting my boheamoth of a TV setup, is the events of the afternoon of January 9th.
Ms. Olive was resting peacefully as she normally does wherever she wishes. @12 noon, the Mrs. Danno is leaving for work, and as I can only assume, SHE assumed that the cat, Ms. Olive was still resting peacefully. But as she normally does, the cat saw her chance in sneaking out of the house through Mrs. Danno's legs without her noticing. (Ms. Olive sees Mrs. Danno as a pushover me thinks.) The afternoon was a blank to me as I was at work already. I can't imagine what she did outside all day by her lonesome. All I know is when I got home and let out the crazy insane animal (not the most fiersome pic) from his kennel and walked him to the door, when I opened it, there was Ms. Olive, ready to come back in from her days romp outside. I called the Mrs. to let her know of her mishap, and in her most N. Carolinian accent you can think of, and AML you can almost hear it can't you? "But I saw her before I we'ant ou'side".
Any-who, the cat was fine, a little tired and cold, but fine. As I laid on the couch later in the evening, I could almost read her mind as she lay there quietly, dreaming of the daily events with her new neigborhood friends.

The Boss' Christmas Gift

2006-12-28T09:48:00.000-08:00

Ohhh how happy is the Dan-o. He's soooo happy!!! The 2 boss' gave me and another senior co-worker of mine a 50" LG plasma dispaly for our yearly gift this year. The other guys got tv's too but they recieved 42" TV's. Still very nice sets. So if you all are good, I may let you come visit the new TV sometime.

Now that I look at it, I'm not sure if this is the same one. It's like a newborn baby, they all look a little bit the same when they come out of the box. But still, it's'a very nice'a.

So happy to be me. la la la la la la.

Happy holidays to all

2006-12-24T06:01:00.000-08:00

All I have to say is Merry Christmas. Don't ask where I got this, but we all could hardly stand up when it was on. It's about a 10 on the "Wrong Scale". Be sure there are no little ones around. I am ALL ABOUT THE HOLIDAYS though folks. Enjoy your families and give thanks to all we have. ESPECIALLY OUR COLLECTIVE SENSES OF HUMOR. Merry Christmas guys. Hope to see you all soon, me and my small teeth.
Who can't resist a drunken Dan-o.

Paintball=Pain

2006-12-16T07:19:00.000-08:00

That's right kids, a couple of weeks ago I was out with the wifes cousins and our friends paintballing on the WEST SIDE!!! It was a great day, beautiful weather, birds still chirping, and the sound of sceams by grown up men being hit by pain of paint balls hitting them on various body parts. My day was going pretty well, the first game I didn't get knocked out until the very end, but I did get hit by one right in the fleshy part between the poiunter and middle finger while my hand was on the gun. I was so close to crying , but I didn't. Why you ask Tiners? BECAUSE I'M A MAN!!!! That's right.
As the day went on, I had several wonderful kill shots on other guys. We made it all the way until about 3:00 when people started to leave. We were down to 8 guys. 4 on 4! Let's go, one more round!!! We started out on our normal 1 minute walk away from each other and started. I made my way up to a position on my stomache behind a tree up about 50' from the prized empty beer bottle that if it were grabbed, the game would be over. I was laying down a suppressing fire, when from my left, a spattering barrage of paintballs were hitting the other side of my tree, but not hitting me. I was getting up the nerve after a couple of minutes to get up and make a run for the beer bottle when 2 shots rang out from behind me, both hitting me almost simultaneoulsly in the same spot on the back of my knee. I dropped my gun, "God Damnit, You Mother Fucker" "I'M OUT!!!!!" I said it so eloquently. The Mo Fo who shot me made it all the way around my flank and came up behind us all and got me from behind. Kinky huh???
I did not notice how bad it was until I got home that night and was putting on my PJ pants. The wife says "Your leg looks nasty!" Being the baddass I am I said "Chicks dig scars". I looked down and the bruise had grown 10 fold. Both paintballs had hit in the same spot a split second after each other. Here's my battle scar folks. This was an enormous bruise, the pic doesn't serve it justice. Remember, I have big legs. Notice the center mark of impact. It was so bruised in the center it was yellow. AWESOME!!!! This is as naked as you'll see me by the way, you can thank me later:

MERRY CHRISTMAS TO ALL!!!! Turn up the Speakers!!!!!!

One Pissed off Dan-o

2006-12-11T15:06:00.000-08:00

This Is Spinal Tap
Marty: "I've noticed that your amps have and 11 on them, why is that?"
Nigel: "Our amps go up to 11."
Marty:"what does that mean?"
Nigel:"Everyone elses amps go to 10, ours go up to 11, see."

What's my deal folks? Well, today I had good reason to be ticked off. At the Mr. K job today, one of the younger electricians was there for the electrical company doing the job. He's got to be no older than 22. That's weird to say that's young to me. I digress. He comes up to me and asks if I'm the A/V guy on the job. I say yes. So he follows up by asking me what I thought about Bose. I said "In my honest professional opinion?....It's crap. They are not a Dolby licensed product which in Theater or any A/V standards is a huge benchmark. The CEO knows that his product can't become Dolby licensed due to the fact that they are a simple single cone loudspeaker design, similar to ones at a drive through where they talk to you at over the mic. This design gives the speakers a flat sound, but since the speaker is non-directional, it is a room filling flat sound, which can trick the person's ear into thinking it is a good sound. Which is why Symphony music is usually played to demo them. Whether you have flutes trombones sax's or trumpets, a flat symphony sound is going to sound alot better than a flat rock track or R/B. Also I find fault with a company that advertises their product as much as they do. They always say 'hear the difference' yet when I worked at Best Buy back in the day, the Bose rep was in when I took one of their speakers off of their display to set it next to a better and cheaper (mind you) JBL bookshelf. There was no way, other than me moving it, that the customer could hear the difference in the sound. " (The customer ended up buying the JBL by the way) prior to a nice friendly encounter in front of the rep and Mr. Belcastro(<------Steph, you remember him!!!!) Rich laughed after the rep left and said that customer service-wise, I was in the right, but Bose paid for that space away from the rest of the speakers in the room for a reason. Which stands to reason why they also have their own stores. ANYWAY, the electrician proceeds, only after I gave him even more incriminating evidence and suggestions of other fantastic sounding brands for cheaper $$$'s, to tell me that "Well, I bought the Bose AM10 system and I think it's fantastic...blah blah blah." I stopped him immediately and said "Man, don't do that...that is wrong on so many levels. If you have them that's fine, don't try to snowball me after the fact. This is my job, I know what I'm talking about, you're an electrician apprentice. They are a below average speaker for an astronomical price and the only reason they've survived over the years is because of their relentless stream of advertising. If you spent $1500 for the speakers and an amp, you obviously said 'hmmmm, I have $1500, what can I get for that.' Insead of saying 'what's out there for a reasonable price' and then shop around to see what is out there and MAYBE save some $$$." Did he honestly just do that? Advertising done properly, can get certain people to drink the peverbial ' kool-aid.' If you drill it into their heads long enough, they'll buy into it. His coworkers laughed at him for being an idiot by the way. Don't get me totally wrong, Bose isn't a terrible speaker, it's a simple product, with a simple design. They are just way overrated and WAY over priced. Shop around, PLEASE!!! If anyone out there is shopping around, here are a few web sites for brands that I'd recommend. Bye and bye, I have a Paradigm system in my mansion:
Paradigm

Energy

JBL (check out the Synthesis line.....I highly recommend it, if you have the means, it is so choice.) @$150,000 for the Atlas line.

Mission (Good luck though finding a local dealer for this one though...great sound!!!)

I know you're always in the market to spend a little $$$ Mol's. Let me know and I'll set you up.

Brokeback Mountain

2006-12-05T17:41:00.000-08:00

Blazing Saddles
Town lookout: The Sheriff is a nig(loud noises in the background!!!!!!!)
Town folk: He said the Sheriff is Near!!!!!!!

The other evening at diner with the AML and RR, the conversation turned at one point to the viewing of Brokeback Mountain. My wife had watched it a few evenings before, and expressed that it wasn't a film 'Dan-o could watch'. Well, as I was pounding out the work today, and listening to my headset, I gazed into my persona a bit and wondered if I am really that closed minded and/or if I am really 'not comfortable in my sexuality' as was put by the AML. Now don't get me wrong, I am not upset in any way by any of these comments,...which actually I think puts me ahead in the Acceptance of Homosexuals Points Race (AHPR) already.
I delved into thinking about why, right off the bat, that I didn't want to see it. Well, A #1 that came to mind was that I am not a homosexual (which means I like sex w/ women-my wife especially) and I have no interest in a homosexual cowboy love story. First of all there is no such thing as a gay homosexual cowboy love story. Nice Try. Westerns are dirty (well, come to think of it, so is butt sex), cowboys are supposed to ride on horses, not other guys hung like horses. I realize that times are diffent from when I grew up where Clint Eastwood was a badass, now little Ricky is growing up in a world where Heath thinks Jake has a badass.
Sorry I just lost points to the AHPR. In all seriousness, though, I don't feel like I should have to explain why I don't want to see that movie, I just don't have any ambition to see it because it has qualities I'm just not interested in. It's also not that I'm homophobic, it's kind of hard to be that way with a gay uncle in the family. It's something I've grown up around. I'm used to it and accept it as a lifestyle. I also have a favorite movie that actually has very gay characters in it. It is an American movie that comes from a French play, The Birdcage. It's a great movie!!! It is a comedy, not a drama, and is very well done. <------SEE, I'm cultured too!!!!
I guess I just find fault with films that are made to prove a point, or that are made just to say "we can do this now, look what we're doing over here!!!!". And just because people like myself don't want to go see them, those people that do see it can say "Oh, he/she's not comfortable with that". You know what? I wouldn't read the book either. There are alot of things I just don't want to see or do, some have reasons, some don't. It's like when the RR wanted to go to a gay bar. Why would I want to go, I'm not gay? No interest for me there. However, I went because it's friends I went with, and we had a good time. Flat out, if it doesn't spawn interest immediately, it's out of my head like a fart in the wind, I don't waste my time with it. The wife can tell you when I'm sitting there and a preview for a movie or a comercial for some new product comes on, if my interest is peaked, you know it.
All I'm saying is to the movie people, "Look, don't push your agenda on me. And just because I don't accept your agenda, that doesn't make me wrong." We all understand there are gay people out there, we all know this, I accept them, and I accept their lifestyle because it's THEIR life desicion not mine, so it doesn't bother me one bit. Just don't shove it in my face or make me feel bad because I don't want to see it. We can make some of the people happy some of the time, but we can't make all of the people happy all of the time. STOP TRYING!!!!!!
ON ANOTHER TANGENT: While I'm rolling, Political correctness is all it is, and that is what's going to get everyone of us killed one of these days. Perfect example: All of the terrorists on 9/11 through today were of middle eastern decent and muslim-----> BUT!!!!! Not all middle esatern muslims are terrorists. SO when we began checking people at the airports that were of middle eastern decent and THEY started complaining......OHHH NO, we can't do this anymore, we have to start letting some of THEM go and let's isolate the 85 year old man over there that can't get out of his wheelchair to make things fair. And the next thing you know that guy we let through was the next one with a micro-nuke. Well, when a white male that has a scruffy beard and is wearing an AC/DC t-shirt robs a bank, who do we look for????? We look for the first white female in a work suit driving a Beemer...right!!!! Well, not so much, but you get the point.
Last week a bunch of muslim males were in the middle of an airport terminal praying to Allah. They were pissed when airport security stopped them and questioned them. Freedom of religion??? Absolutely, JUST NOT IN AN AIRPORT TERMINAL ASSHOLES!!!<-----The next Amendment to the US Constitution!!!!!!! Tiners, get on it!!!!! Everone reading this would have crapped themselves had they seen this in person, and don't lie. Muslims, save it for when you get home, that was in bad taste and you all know it. Finished, I think. I have to go to bed now, that was tiring. I still love you AML.....silly .

A Pointless Sunday

2006-12-03T09:24:00.000-08:00

Biloxi Blues

Jerome: (after getting off the train) It's really hot....does anyone else realize how hot it is?.......It's really hot......The hottness is getting hotter......It's hotter than hot, this is Africa hot.

After a wonderful dinner last evening with the Wife, AML, and the Rabbit, Dan-o is left with a meaningless Sunday to decide what he's going to do with. The Bengals already played Thursday in victorious fashion and don't play the lowly Raiders until next Sunday. What is a hometown fan to do? I turn around from the monitor and the animal (aka. Palmer is laying in "his chair" and as pitiful as he can below his barely open eyelids looks at me with the same feeling. "Daddy, what are we going to do today now that you're not going to be yelling at the TV today?" I really don't know.... Maybe do a little window shopping for the Old Lady's Xmas gift. I know what I'm getting her, but need some options. However the animal can't go to the mall with me....I feel bad leaving him at home all weekend. Maybe I can pretend I'm blind.....This won't pas for reality when I step out of my Monster truck's driver seat and fight with him to get his leash on. Let alone I've never known a seeing eye dog to smell everyone's crotch that they come in contact with which the P-dog is known for. Maybe we'll go to Grandma's house so the dog can run, this sounds like a possibility. Or I can get up the ambition finally and continue on the air return project for the upstairs.

Here's my dilemma with this, I build and create things every day at work with my hands and tools in order to make things work. When I get home in the evening, the last thing I want to do, is work some more. However this is my house right? Suck it up right? But the couch looks so comfy from across the room when I take off my boots in the afternoon. Any suggestions on how to avoid the 'rooting of the ass' on the couch in the evenings.

AML, we need to catch the guy who writes #'s in red on our shirts. Also I'm sorry your pic is right under the name of this post, I really didn't mean for it to turn out like that.

To be Thankful

2006-11-24T05:54:00.000-08:00

I'm not going to get too sappy here, but I wanted to take some time here to show the things I'm thankful for in my life.

1. My wife and family, without which I just couldn't picture myself as being who I am today.

2. ALL of my friends, new and old, all of which with their different outlooks on life and witty banter never cease to peak my interests.

3. My job: Not many people can say that their job is as cool as mine. I've been blessed with an ability and steady hand that helps me do what I do every day.

4. My pets: psycho as they may be, they never waver in their unending affection. Good days or bad, they are always there to say "Hi".....they really do say that you know.

5. My truck Ron.

6. Thin, fit, and voluptuous runners that stretch right in front of you at the Thanksgiving day race without a thought of who might be glancing over at the spandex pants HUGGING your bottom.....I digress.

7. Thin, fit, Voluptuous runners with white tops and see through sports bras!!!!!!! Did you honestly thing NOONE would look darlin' in the white top and blue stretchies??? Easily C's ...... 'nough said.....again, I digress.

8. Barry Manilow....He gives me the will to get up off of my ass between #7 and #8 here on this list, the will to not be lazy, run downstairs and change the XM channel on my stereo.

9. The winter months that I love so much coming up. I'm a big fan of the cold weather. It's much easier to stay warm in the winter than it is to stay cool in the blistering summer(not that I don't mind Charleston, SC or Sannibel.....the surroundings make up for the mugginess.)

10. Warriors. Soldiers. Those of which I admire are all who fight and give us the freedoms we have here at home which we MOST times take advantage of. The warriors who take it to them rather than have the meanies bring it to us again and again. Rather there than here. I drink beer for all of you.

To all who've read this, have a great Christmas, Thanksgiving weekend, and New Year. To my Jewish people reading this, have a good Hanukka.

OUT!!!

Palmer=Not a good jogging partner

2006-11-09T13:43:00.000-08:00

So I got home the other night and decided, "Hey Palmer, want to go for a run?" He's never been running with me before, so we tried it out. Aside from him keeping up with me the whole 2.5 miles, I almost became crippled several times. The problem is the fact that he's still a pup. Almost a year old, but full grown now. With this factor told, he is still smelling new things. I can almost hear his thought process as we ran......RUNNING RUNNING RUNNING .......WHAT'S THIS? WHY IS HE PULLING ME??? THIS OTHER DOG'S CRAP SMELLS FANTASTIC!!!! DOESN"T HE KNOW THAT???? RUNNING RUNNING .......STOP OH WHAT IS THAT SMELL???? OH IT'S NOTHING. RUNNING RUNNING......etc."
OK the problem was the fact that I was jogging at about what would be considered for me 1/3 of my max speed now that I'm 31. And stopping my BIG ASS isn't as easy as it used to be at 240 lbs. I felt as though I was a jackknifed tractor trailer each time the mutt came to a screetching halt in front of me. No more Palmer.....no more running with me. It's back to the old licking your own crotch trick for you.

Laughing with black people

2006-11-07T16:58:00.000-08:00

Russ: "Do you have asteroids?"

Russ's Cousin: "No...but my dad does."

So, another trek this past Sunday leads me to the Deli for some lunch meat for the weeks lunches I pack myself. As I stand in line waiting for #25 to be called, I peruse around the area to check out the other yummie treats that surround me. An older black woman, I'm guessing that she'd just come from church as she was in her 'sunday best', had picked her number from the ticket dispenser. The lady behind the counter called out "23"......She immediately stopped talking to the woman she was with and checked her ticket again. "Oh my word, we leavin' ". The much younger, and quite attractive, other black woman she was with, said "What's wrong?" I've got ticket 128. I looked down at mine to see if I had misread mine. The poor old woman read her ticket as 128 when it actually read I28. I showed her mine (my ticket sicko's) to show her that I had an I in front of my # too. She just laughed and fanned herself giving a sigh of relief. Then the older man infront of me, black also, was getting his meat sliced. The woman behind the counter, ALSO black, gave the ham a single slice and came up to the counter and asked "how does that look?" then promptly dropped it on the floor by accident. And in the funniest black woman voice, with the head swing and everything, said " it don't look too good now does it?" We all got a good laugh. I like my local Kroger and the diversity there on Sundays especially. I think that's going to be my new go-to spot on the weekends. Anyone care to join me....It's a hoot!!!!!

.....Ya Can't Stop

2006-11-03T14:35:00.000-08:00

Ahhh my peeps, how is the world out there? It's a cold blustery beginning to the month of November......... and I'm working in it. An old client of ours.....we'll call him "Mr. K." is building a nice home on the edge of Montgomery and Indian Hill. There is a half circle that justs off of the backside of the house which goes from the 1st floor ceiling(15' high) through a 3 foot sub floor and all the way to the basement floor (also 15' high). This entire half circle will encompass a half circle stairwell to the basement and will be shelled out with a half circle window top to bottom. And I say WILL BE SHELLED OUT bitterly because of the fact that right now, there is NO Window there, top to bottom, and at 8:30 AM when walking though the front door, a rush of even colder air hits your face because over night, the house acts as a refrigerator keeping the inside cooler. So it takes until about, ummmmm 4:00 PM (cleanup time) before the house comes even close to comfortable.
On a lighter note my friends, an electrician and I were discussing the important things on a job site today like.....what happened to all of those cute girls we saw on TV when we were growing up? Like, Janet Jackson on Different Strokes. Well that was an easy one, she's all busy whipping her nips out on national TV(definately ok with that). And my personal FAVE, Alyssa Milano. She was on a vampire show or something like that for a while....not sure if it's still on). And another very often overlooked adolescent hottie, Danica McKellar. Ladies and Gents, she's better known as Winnie Cooper. So I had to look her up when I got home to see what she's up to these days. Aparently she likes posing for the FHM type mag's. Again, I'm ok with this. I couldn't have immagined an outcome like this one in a million years. From the overall's wearing smart girl from the faux '60's to this..........
And by and by, all of you whom I haven't seen in a light year, I have a new vehicle. Those of you being Tiners and Mol's, and whomever else is interested. I don't think I've ever spoken of him before now, but he's great. I call him "him" because well........his name's Ron. I came up with the name today while at work. It hit me like a ton of bricks. My truck is burgundy....My truck is Ron Burgundy!!!!!!!! Hence Ron. Ron is pictured above. I did not take this picture, I let an automotive site take this one, Ron is camera shy.

Me again

2006-10-26T16:07:00.000-07:00

How has everyone been. Me not so well, the wife and I have been sick over the past week and a half since we got back from the "Fantastic" family vaca we took there a few weeks ago. I am beginning to get back to my hansome self again though. I have never been so irritated with an entire groupo of people in my entire lifetime. It was ok once we had decided what we were doing for the day, but getting out of the house was like pulling teeth. It really would have been ten times better if everyone, or more people had brought their own vehicle. 4 cars and 16 people doesn't make a match. And not to mention the fact that everything had to be overdramatic when something happened or didn't happen. Come on folks, at least eat some birthday cake with me.......uh, ok nevermind, I'll eat 2 pieces and throw it out. I think the greatest part of my trip was seeing Real honest to god black bears walking right out in front of our chalet. It was nature and I love it. Somehow a black bear that can rip your arm off if you get to close to her cubs was more fun than listening to everyone bitch about something or anything.
I'm finished with that now. My computer is still whacked out with something and I think I narrowed it down to something that is attached to a Trojan virus(which is never good, and another reason I haven't had time to get on here). Something called a hacktool.proxy, I dunno. I looked it up last night and it's not a nice bug.
I'm so excited though. Saturday, this saturday, I get to go shoot at some friends. The wife's cousins and friends are all going up to this property on the west side to play a little bit of war and paintball. We did it for a batchelor party this past summer and had a blast. I'm seriously considering buying my own gun. If this becomes a regular thing, which it looks like is happening, a rental is like $50. I would have done it twice now and a gun is like $150 or something like that. I have to look at Dick's website to see for sure. Anyway, I think Frisch's is on it's way home now so I must be off.
And Q, this Sunday morning, I'll be prepping for my run for you on Thanksgiving. I'm running it twice, one for you and one for me......YEAH RIGHT, you're enough.

Sunday Grocery Shopping

2006-10-08T11:16:00.000-07:00

Shooter: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Gilmour: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Well it's been a while and I am back from a frustrating day at the grocery store. First of all, I'm going to address ALL old people .......'STOP DRIVING!!!!!'. THRICE I was almost hit by a rickety old person, twice while pulling into the parking lot and once while walking up to the store. And all of the old people again 'RELAX, I'm just trying to get past you to do MORE shopping...I'm NOT trying to cut in the checkout line, JESUS CHRIST!!!!' I'll give you something to whine about you old bitch, just let me get past to get my lunch food for the week and I'll be right back here in 5 minutes to kick your ass. This old bitty would not move forward the 6" necessary to pass her without cracking her arthritic ankle.
Secondly, you've got to love listening to the black women shopping for their kids at home while with a friend. (Picking out some chicken strips from the freezer and showing it to the mother) "Awww yeah, get thems, they like that shit." I had to hang out there for a little while in order to continue my immersion into this ever escalating dialect amongst the ill-educated.
Thirdly(and lastly), why on a Sunday, does the Grocery store have 6 checkouts open at 1:00 PM. Do they not understand that football is on and I have frozen food and milk in my cart. That's right, it's all about me (Q, you can relate) . Luckily, Lufawnda came over to open up the register next to my line while I was 3 away from setting my stuff up on the conveyor and I walked right up and was out of there.
Side bar: Wife, "please don't make me go back there... you said that would be a 'happy house' ".

No Alcohol or Drugs involved

2006-10-03T18:30:00.000-07:00

Jules:"Normally both of you would be dead as fucking fried chicken right now, but since I'm in a transitional period right now, I don't want to kill either one of your asses."

OHHHHHHH MAAAAAN!!!!! I must tell you all of another post lunch adventure. As we were traversing the lovely wooded roads of Indian Hill today making our way back to the family that owns Cincinnati, Mike was investigating what Brett had in his storage area behind the rear seat of his Ford Explorer. "What's back here Brett?" I hear from the passengers seat in the front. Mike seated behind Brett says "Ohhhh, Dan, take one of these!!" I turn to see a Kayak paddle being shoved in my face. We are going about 35 MPH when Mike says "Start Rowing!!!!" Without hesitation we both stick our paddles out of our respective sides of the vehicle and row viciously through an imaginary current. When we went into a curve, one of us had to row faster than the other. Passing cars was interesting seeing the reactions of the "beyond upper class assholes" either shaking their heads in disgust or giving looks of utter confusion as to what they had just seen. As we made it to the clients street., we put away our steering devices and luckily didn't wrerck the entire way back because Brett could hardly see from the tears running down his face. Sometimes you just have to let go. Total immaturity, it's what it's all about sometimes.

Slow Recovery

2006-10-01T11:47:00.000-07:00

Ladies and Gents,
Why is it when you get older, the less and less your body's alcohol tolerance gets. Let's take myself for example. Friday night was an ordinary evening, I got home took my post workday shower, watched a little TV while knocking back a few Amber Bock's(delicious) afterwards I go to the wifes cousin's soccer game at Soccer City and get a pitcher which I had Bud light's out of. After the match we sat around and shot the breeze w hile drinking no beers at all. After I left there I met up with my sis at a local bar in Mt. Healthy (very nice people in Mt. Healthy by the way) and had 2 Bud lights there. We walked down Hamilton Ave. to Vince's bar ( a great sports bar) and I had 2 more.
Now mind you these were all spread out over the evening, and the next morning I was getting around just fine with no nausea, but a pounding headache. So, was it the combination of a few different beers or is my age getting to me. I'd hate to think it's the latter.

The Tortoise Terminator

2006-09-22T18:27:00.000-07:00

It was a cold and rainy Friday, one in which I did not pack my lunch. The two gents and I have come to agreement on where we will take our noon hour feeding time. We slowly make our way out to our vans, which each one has only 2 seats in the front. So we take separate vans, the bosses son and I in one and Mike in the other, all alone. We pull down the long and winding driveway out to the main thoroughfair and make a left turn to make our way to the restaurant. About 1/4 of a mile or so up the road I can make out an odd shape on the road, one of which I was sure what it was when I first caught a glimpse of it, but I had to take a second look to be sure. It was something you rarely see on the white line on the side of the road. That's right, a cute little tortoise, actually it was a pretty good sized one and I, being the nature lover that I am, swerved over the center yellow line to allow myself plenty of room in order to clear him. (I would have stopped to move it over to the other side, but it is a very curvy road, plus it is in Indian Hill where the locals apparently have ZERO awareness of any traffic laws and drive in excess of 50 MPH on their local roads, straddling the yellow middle line on very regular occasions.) We pass and I Mike is right behind me talking on his phone to his wife paying no attention. I have never seen a tortoise shell have so much velocity in my life. Prior to striking the tortoise, I could tell that it had it's head tucked safely away. Mikes passenger side tire grazed, and when I say grazed I mean just enough to give it a slight downward pressure on the front 1/32 of and inch on its shell, and then SHOOOOOOM!!!!! That tortoise shot sideways back into the woods from which it came from. I can honestly say that I believe that the tortoise is alive and well. One more inch to the left, and this would never had happened......but one more to the right, and Mike would forever be known to me as......The Tortoise Terminator!!!!!!

GREAT MONDAY

2006-09-18T14:57:00.000-07:00

Burgundy: "Have any one of you experienced true love"
Brick: "I love carpet"
Burgundy: "Seriously guys (disregarding Brick's statement)"
Brick: "I love lamp"
Burgundy: "Brick, are you just looking at things and saying that you love them"
Brick: "I LOVE LAMP!!!"

I can't say that I've had a better monday in a while. Even though I was actually on a job site, I think it was as productive a day as Friday. We had our racks delivered to a job site today to begin tie in to the house wires we pulled. Only we weren't sure on the exact placement of the racks so it was lunch before we figured out a good spot. We ate lunch and I sent out the fella I was with to pick up the stuff needed to cut holes in the steel cans and the flex conduit to run it through. Only halfway through his journey he gets pulled off to another job right down the street without me knowing and doesn't get out of there until 4:30(cleanup time). I was a beautiful rainy Monday. Perfection.

When the cat's away......

2006-09-15T13:41:00.000-07:00

Bender: "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

Oh people, today was a good day at work, if you want to call it that. The 2 bosses are in Denver for the yearly CEDIA (Custom Electronics Design and Installation Association) convention. It's pretty cool, I went the last 2 years, but it's all the same stuff with maybe a few new items added to them to make them a little better. Anyway, enough of that, today was great. We did NOTHING for the day. We were supposed to go down to AFG to replace 2 video scalers, but they never came in from UPS, so while we waited, we sat in the theater and watched Saving Private Ryan, afterwards we took a little break from watching the Kaleidescape. So we went to lunch, Brett the progammer and I went to Jersey Mikes, I had the classic Philly Cheesesteak w/ no peppers( a must if you've never tried). We took a stroll down to Planet Smoothie and I got a small Chocolate Elvis (peanut butter, yogurt, chocolate, and ice). It was ok, but I'm sure there's better flavors. So when we had enough of the lunch scene, we made our way back to the shop hoping that by 1:00 the scalers would be in.....they weren't. What are we going to do???? We couldn't think of a thing, so we sat back down in the theater thinking maybe the nice comfy leather theater seats would help us think.....they didn't. Magically the Projector kicked on and the channel switched to a Showtime channel. It was time for Kung Fu Theater!!!!! "The Master of the Flying Guillotine". Quite entertaining for the full duration, alot of action and I believe, yes I believe that I have a new favorite movie format. It was made in 1975, the year I was conceived and born. It still had an entertainment factor that was undeniable, how can you ignore that or even push the 'System Off' button on the touch panel. I'll tell you from experience, you can't. And when we turned to our bosses son to get him to check UPS, it was apparent he did not have the same appreciation for the showing. He was sprawled across 2 of the 4 seats behind us out like a light. Yes, I can officially say that today was the MOST unproductive day at work I've ever had. At 3:00, I gave up on UPS and left. I'm not going downtown after 3:00 on a Friday, especially after the ass-busting we did today. Screw That!!!!!

TIME OUT!!!!

2006-09-13T15:23:00.000-07:00

Bobby Boucher "I like college and I like football, and I'm gonna keep doing them both because they make me happy........And I like Vicki Vallencourt, and she showed me her boobies, and I like them too."

Sorry I missed the last quote so I had to make it up with a good one. So how is everybody? I feel great today, I really do. I don't know what the deal was with me today. Last night the wife was pissed at me because all I've been doing over the past few days is watching sports"HELLOOOOO, the start of a new football season+the Reds still hanging on hope for a playoff spot." But I went to bed and woke up this morning, feeling great. I don't know if I had a Come-to-Jesus over night in my dreams, but I kind of felt a little guilty.......nahhhhh, not me. Maybe though. I like sports, and when I can't physically be there, I like to watch sports on TV. But I do have a wife now, right, as I was LISTENING to the Reds game in extra innings last night as I lay in bed(I thought this would be semi-productive on my need for rest and need for sports)I know, it's terrible, but I was tired and I wanted to know the outcome, so if I did fall asleep, at least subliminally I'd know the score. Hey Doc., any suggestions on how to split the time or even combine the 2. I thought of slipping her some pills as I watched the game while she sits next to me for the first half an hour or so, just so she can fall asleep with me, and that way we can be together AND I have sports. Probably not too cool though. Maybe I'll just have to suck it up and ACTUALLY spend some"quality time" with her. Yeah, I suppose that will be the best way to handle it. I'll save the pills for plan B.
The above is a pic with me and the ring bearer Blake from the wedding(obviously). I've been trying to get it posted, but for some reason, up until now, it wouldn't.

Back To Normal

2006-09-09T13:25:00.000-07:00

OK,
My rant is complete and even though I'm still fed up with our wellfare system, if you want to call it that(it's more like crap-fare), I hada wonderful time last night with my wife and friends and family at the Cincinnati Reds game. They won a game finally and I got a free beer, FROM THE CONCESSION STAND, not bought by someone else, it was just free. Their register was screwed up and I waited forever so the guy was just like"go ahead and take it". And I did, and it was good. I didn't look back, I did not ask "are you sure?", I just took it and walked away quietly, like a man who had just experienced a very uncomfortable moment with another man would. The game itself was entertaining, the after concert by Paul Otten Band was pretty cool(great live music), and the visit at Q and the AML's house afterwards was enchanting(good beer, good food, and dizzy-ing conversation). It was like BW3's without the wings and 50 televisions. Anyway, the wife had a good time which is what it was all about.
People watching is great. By the 6th inning, a grown woman easily in her 40's, dressed like she was a 15 year old, was drunk as a skunk, screaming and yelling for Ryan Freel. He glanced over once and simply raised his hand in her direction. This made her evening, but made the screaming and yelling even worse, because naturally now, this meant Freel was interested. Let's leave the fact that her husband/boyfriend was right next to her. Simply amazing is the 40 year old female alcoholic psyche. "Hey bitch, have another one will ya!!"

Irate!!!!!

2006-09-07T15:27:00.000-07:00

Michael Corleone: "Fredo, you're my older brother and I love you, but don't ever take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever."

Sorry to bring you guys down on this one, but I get pissed off every time I think or hear about this topic. I am speaking of the 3 year old Marcus Fiesel who was MURDERED several weeks ago. I keep up to speed on what's going on in the world by listening to talk radio on my headset during the day. And when the News breaks in every so often, and I hear of new findings by the police, other investigators, and the county coroner, I get so furious. I can't yell out loud because there are others working around me. The boy was taped up with packing tape, hands bound, and wrapped in a blanket, stuffed in a closet with the A/C turned off for 2 days in 95 degree heat. Who does this? And the real mother is another issue. This fat ass has taken the system and made it her lifestyle. All she had to do is get a doctor to give her a medical/mental disability label, and she's off to the races. She doesn't have to work because of it, she gets tax money, our money!!!!!!!!.....for those responsible enough to work, and she feels even more incentivised to have THREE children, all of which were fathered by a different man, AND she gets money for them.....Guess what, apparently she's pregnant again! Where does this stop?! He was a paycheck, and I'm sure many others are treating these kids as paychecks. This child, if he lived on, would probably never experienced childhood, even in a foster home because the Carrolls recieved money also from being foster parents. Again, a paycheck. AND she has a class action lawsuit for 5 million because she claims she wanted to regain custody soon, she was turning her life around. A(When have we heard this one before??? Ummmm, let's see everytime a drug deal goes bad.) So, AGAIN, in death even, the child is a paycheck. She, not once, attempted to set up visiting arangements to see this child she"loved".

Anyway, he was suffocated, doused with gasoline, burned, doused several more times, set on fire several more times, and whatever wasn't burned was put in a bag and dumped in the Ohio river. And then had the gaul to use the system AGAIN and have a massive search for a child they knew they killed. These mother fuckers need a pounding, BAD.

I bust my ass, to get what money I have, I pay for my own medical/dental insurance, my house, my food, .....and when I go to the doctor, I have to pay even more(co-pay). These people<----yes, that is a class of people, get medical, dental, AND legal representation, whenever they feel they need it(not only when a crime is committed by them) all of which has been labeled as FREE. Well, it's not free, nothing is free. The money comes from somewhere, and it's not the sky, it comes out of all of OUR pay. These people see an incentive for being unresponsible, with no job, and a promise of steady money by having more and more children. Sounds like a pretty good deal doesn't it? Everyone's a victim. It's easier to point a finger than to take responsibility for yourself. I mean to have someone take care of you for the rest of your life. I'm done, I've got other shit to do tonight.

Mogwai

2006-09-05T19:18:00.000-07:00

Ulysses Everitt McGill: Well, isn't this place just a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere.

That's right, straight out of the Gremlins movies, Mogwai. The small furry creature, Gizmo. That's what the two cute furry little Cockapoo's looked like today at the clients house I was at. How much work did you get done Dan? Not much. They are puppies from the same littler and are only 2 months old. Luckily my tasks today involved sitting on the floor and making up ends for the video distribution. SO I had the said Mogwai's both in my lap and fighting, wrestling with each other, then me, then sleeping for about a half an hour, then both awakening and realizing there was no wrestling going on, and wrestling ensued once again.
Olive and Palmer say: "No more animals Danno. No more. We are the chosen ones."

Ahhh, the Fantasy

2006-09-03T09:02:00.000-07:00

Randall: "People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl 'Mom'."

OOOHHHHHH People, it is fantasy football time again. My brother and I had our draft last night with all of the guys from his work at the USPS(no, not the entire USPS). It was Nuuuuuuts. This may sound a little queer, but I really like just being around guys once in a while. Not for the queer reason, but to get loud, and bullshit, and trashtalk, and drink beer, and eat pizza and bbq weiners, and laugh at the stupid shit that everyone else is saying.
For the lay-persons, Fantasy football is an activity which involves one persons picks over anothers. One night every year before the football season, guys get together and pick 1 player each round, 16 times. These players are the players you think will score the most points, catch/recieve for the most yards, etc. It can get a little tricky though, especially when one of your favorite teams(ie. the Bengals) is playing against one of your players that you picked for your team. So if I have the Seattle Defense, which I do, and the Begals are playing them that week, I am in personal quandry. I want Palmer and Rudi and Chad-boy to do great!!!! But I also want my team Defense to get a lot of points as well. It's deep I know, but it's fun, and it's also great when you might be watching highlights of a particular game and some random joe-shmo is shown catching a 90 yard TD pass and he happens to be on your team playing that week and you jump up and scream "Yeah" and no one knows why.....it's the little things that make me happy, I'm easy.

Body Guard

2006-08-30T19:38:00.000-07:00

This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker, and argue about who killed who...

So we're at the very important Cincinnati man's house yoday and we are getting there in the morning after he leaves. But in his stead will be 1 of his bodyguards at the penthouse staying there w/ us. Now, as we are going up in the elevator, in my mind I'm picturing a Ving Rhames-esque sized black man with a black leather coat and a side-arm. Instead, as he opens the door, the man is no more intimidating than the dad on the hit TV show, ALF. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice enough guy, but if your wanting someone to take a bullet for you, I'd want someone with a little more body mass. I can only hope that the other bodyguard has a little more of an authoritative presence.

Excitement!!!!

2006-08-28T15:08:00.000-07:00

Airplane
Capt. : You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Capt. : You ever seen a grown man naked?

I didn't think I'd ever be this excited about a preseason game but it happened. I woke up this morning all a flutter and it's all I could do not to get on everyones nerves at work. I can't wait to see how Carson Palmer does tonight. I named my beloved hound dog, Palmer, after him. We are getting him a doggy Palmer jersey for Pete's sake(who is Pete anyway?) My day was shortened today which made it even better. I went to the dentist and had a routine cleaning, and all is well in my mouth. My gums look good and I just need to try to pay a smidgen amount more of attention to the way back by my wisdom teeth, it's a pain in the ass but I try and try. Any tips there, Dr. Tooth Decay???? Welcome back Palmer and Pollack. Go get 'em, tigers!!!

By Jove I think he's got it!!!

2006-08-26T13:43:00.000-07:00

Inigo Montoya: " You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

I am a copy and pasting FOOL!!!! I am going to try and dabble a bit over the next week. Thanks to The Landlord, I've got a hold on this copy and pasting thing. I was telling our programmer that I worked with today about it, that I learned to copy and paste, and he said that suprisingly, in alot of you're computer seminars, that's the one thing that people just can't grasp sometimes. Hey thanks Mr.Q. You're the greatest!!!

The Black Water

2006-08-24T17:00:00.000-07:00

Caddy Shack:
Carl: " So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. (Explaining to the caddy) A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So I tell them I'm a pro jock, and do you know who they give me? The Dali Lama himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald......striking. So I'm on the first tee with him and I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one....big hitter the Lama....long, into a 10,000 foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? 'gunga galunga....gunga, gunga-galunga'. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say 'Hey Lama, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?' And he's says 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will recieve total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

One of my favorites above. A new client of ours is moving into an old clients house. Q, you know the family. And the previous owners did not open their inground pool this year while they were busy moving to their temporary abode while their new home in Indian Hill is under construction. I digress, The new people who are friends with the old owners, had their pool opened this week while we have been working there. I was taking a breath of fresh air and went outside on the patio over the pool as they uncovered it. The water was BLACK!!! Nasty, and stinky7. I almost vomited. The pool was below me and out about 25 feet and the stench from the water would have killed a roach from where I was. This was Tuesday. Today being Thursday, and tomorrow Friday, they are planning to use it this weekend for the kids while they are having their furniture moved in. The water is crystal clear now.
My whole thing here is that it's August, 1 WEEK away from when pools are closed all over the place. What's the point???? Why????? You know why, and it is always my answer to myself when I question the logic of the Rich, and very kind, people that I work for. Why???? Because they can, that's why. The $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ it takes to do something doesn't matter, as long as it gets done when they want it done. I like that, I admire that. Good stuff right there. Ahhh the life.

Dinner was excellent tonight

2006-08-22T19:27:00.000-07:00

Lancelot: "Look my leige!!!!"
Arthur: "Camelot!!"
Galahad: "Camelot!!"
Lancelot: "Camelot!!"
Patsy: "It's only a model."
Arthur: "SHH!!!"

The wife made up this pasta dish tonight that was excellent. Bowtie noodles with all fresh vegatables (carrots, broccoli, onions, garlic). It was so good, I wish I would have taken a picture of it, it was really pretty too. I could take a picture of it later but I don't think it would look as pretty.
I'm getting charged. My buddie that is over in Iraq right now gets home around the 9th of Sept.
He's the one pretty much in the center of the picture next to the Iraqi in the white gown. This was taken next to the Tigris river. He can't wait to get here since he is a big beer drinker and they have ZERO alcohol over there. So whenever he gets in and we decide on drinking nights, I'll give a shout out. By the way, he's a company Cmdr. in the US Army, and he's single with a 2004 Corvette so if there are any single ladies out there interested, let me know and I'll see what I can manage. When he gets here. Yeah, I guess that makes me his pimp.

I'm Hit, I'm Hit!!!

2006-08-18T15:40:00.000-07:00

Paul : "I usually don't pimp out my friends, but I have a piece of property I'd like to show you."
Moments later-Martin Blank : "Debbies House."
Paul :" Yeah, it kind of crept up on you didn't it?"
Martin Blank : pausing "No, you drove us here."

A great Friday in Dan land. And easy day at work all by myself.... nice and relaxing. So, I get home and begin to make my vanilla protien shake that I make every day before and after work. Keep in mind just yesterday the wife looks at me while I'm making it and about has a coniption fit that I'm not using the lid. It barely goes up the sides and NEVER even comes close to shooting out the top. So I thought I'd spice things up a bit today......throw in an old ice cube to thicken it up a bit, you know? With no lid, I hit the blend mode and an IED goes off in the kitchen. I'm soaked, the walls are splattered, the cieling gets it too. I turn around, and to my horror, the dog's HIT!!!! An innocent by-stander just trying to eat his dinner gets riddled all the way down the side of his body. He takes off and licks his wounds. I'm left to clean the aftermath. Moral to the story, use a lid.

Dumb

2006-08-17T18:26:00.000-07:00

Harry: slamming the door "I lost my job today."
Lloyd Christmas: "MAAAAAAN, you are one pathetic loser....no offense."
Harry: "No, none taken."

My 2nd workout went very well tonight. I was hoping to go back last night but was still very sore from the first time back. Today was a good day though as far as not having any tightness or soreness.
We started a new job today...I should say we have a new client that bought an old clients abode. It's been very nice and I have missed going there just for the view asa I work. I can't disclose publicly who it is but he is a very important man and the view of downtown is spectacular. If you go to my company's web site www.malanassociates.com, you'll see it there. It also helps when the client is down to earth.
As long as we're on the subject, I can't wait for the football season to begin. College, highschool, pro...I don't care. I can just see the Reds crapping down their legs here in the next several weeks, so it's on to football.

Request by the Dr.

2006-08-15T20:12:00.000-07:00

Nathan Johnson: "The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!.....I'm somebody!!!"

My first workout since my surgery went great and everything feels in order. No kinks. Tomorrow after a days rest I hit it again in the evening. I'm starting out light though just to get everything back in motion. I noticed my hands were hurting a bit while benching..... Arthritis I suppose.

Gump-ism

2006-08-14T15:50:00.000-07:00

Bubba:"Forest, have you ever been on a shrimpin' boat?"
Forest:" (pauses and thinks) No, but I've been on a really big boat."

Ladies and Gents, tonight begins my new start on a healthy lifestyle. I have come home for a light dinner and I am heading out to the gym here in a few letting my meal settle in.
Hey Q, no carbs tonight either. It was hard though, I am the King of bread usage. I am going to hit the weights first when I've got all of my initial energy and by the time I'm done with that, my heartrate should be in it's fat burning mode. My goal ideal body is Rick Rossovich in his role in Top Gun (Sorry, I just watched it over the weekend for the 'Ump-hundredth' time). I've never really had a body type to shoot for because 95% of Hollywood males are 5'2" and 150 lbs. So it would be hard for me to look like a Tom Cruise, it probably would look a little funny too. I just want to be healthier.
I know it's a tough road to hoe, but I guess you have to start somewhere and it ain't gonna get done on it's own.

Family Vacation

2006-08-12T12:27:00.000-07:00

Rusty: "He was a crummy Wyatt Earp...He was wearing tennis Shoes"
Clark W. Griswold: "Wellll, they used to Rus."

I could go on and on with this movie, more to come later, enjoy this great weekend, I get to go and help friends move, YEAH!!!!!

I am gonna race...and I am gonna win!!!

2006-08-12T12:19:00.000-07:00

Hello all,
I am back from the early bird special today. One 42" plasma and a 65" DLP INSTALLED BY 12:00 noon. You gotta love it.
I am beginning a new Blog ladies and Gentlemen. One that will make you smile, chuckle or just laugh out loud, naturally depending on its funniness. It's a movie quote blog and only for funny movies because the world just brings us all down sometimes, we need a lift. And the Ricky Bobby quote above is the start to it. So I hope everyone enjoys.

Headaches

2006-08-11T17:39:00.000-07:00

Headaches suck! I've been dealing with one since after my delicious Gyro at lunch. I had to get Tylenol from a clients wife at 2 and took some more on my return home. Nothing is working yet. The big guns will be called upon this evening....... that's right, Danno's friend, Tylenol PM. I'm a little weary of it though tonight since I have to work a rare Saturday and have to be there AT 7:00 AM. Not sure if I'll be too groggy. Will a lack of rest be the cause of headaches???

PS- Just a random pic By Danno

Saturdays at work

2006-08-10T14:57:00.000-07:00

I am so glad that the Giant boheamath of "the Dayton Job" is over, as well as the other job that was driven by the same builder. We can start concentrating on the locals now in full force. It's also nice that with those 2 out of the way, the bosses aren't freaking strung out and at our necks anymore to get things done.
However, I do work a rare Saturday at an electricians house that did the 2 jobs we just wrapped up. He's getting two 50" Plasma screens. It's not a big system by anymeans so I hope things go quickly there. We start at 6:30 AM, and hey......OT is always nice.
I so tired, I need another vacation already. Too bad I had to use half of mine up for my surgery huh? After the 1st of the year I get replenished with 3 weeks paid VACA.........I think I hear Vegas calling me....or maybe a cruise, or San Fran, maybe Miami Beach, ooooohh how about Bermuda Yeah!!!! and there's Charleston again, that's a very cool town, I recommend to anyone interested in just about anything. Germany's always open to me, it's nice to know people in high places, or what about Florence, ITALY..........MMMMMM, mona mi!!!!!
So you see children, the world is at our fingertips. Anyone up for seven years in Tibet? Me neither, I only have 3 weeks.

Gimme my money, Nig*a!!!

2006-08-02T19:26:00.000-07:00

Yes ladies and gents, that's right. I said it. No actually it was said by a 2 year old black boy, to his mother mind you, while I was in the doctors waiting room waiting to get my hernia surgery checked out. The mother was a young black woman and she had given the child a dollar to get something later after the doctors visit for whatever it was she was getting checked out. When the boy began acting up, she put in force the Parental Indian Giver clause, that's right 'The P.I.G. clause' (which is legal in all 50 states for parents to take back what they have given their child under any circumstances).
Well the child immediately had none of this action so he said....and I am quoting a 2 year olds dirty little mouth "Gimme my money back!!!!! gimme my money back!!!!! gimme my money back nig*a!!!!!" I have never seen a child go horizontally out of a room as fast as that one did. Upon reentering the room 3 minutes later, the child went to a chair across the room from the mother and sat silently the entire rest of the wait. The whole thing was a blur for me, I can't immagine what it was like from that childs vantage point. What's the world coming to when a 2 year old child is calling his mother a 'nig*a'?

She's a Big Tree...

2006-07-30T10:48:00.000-07:00

A hot and steamy Sunday afternoon in Dan-o Land. About 90+ degrees outside. So I decide today is the day to get up on a ladder and trimming the 9"+ branches hanging over the house for winter icing safety. I only wish it were close to winter though because it is ASS hot outside. I already said that though...I digress. This is very large tree and it's bigger than you think until you get up into it and are looking down at your brother on the ground and he looks like a midget. We had a slight scare though because one of the branches was pretty close to the street wire (20" or so) and about the same distance to the house and when it was cut, it stayed attached partially to the tree and was hanging straight up and down to the ground thinking to itself....(Hmmmm, do I completely snap off here and take out the side of the house or go the other way and knock out comunication to the whole block, or do I just hang here and let Dan-o take care of me?) Luckily she hung in there. I was able to cut the bottom of the branch off and she fell straight down.
I have stated many 'O times that I want to be a lumber jack. I think I may take that up.
I will wait till this evening though to cut up the branches into little pieces for firewood, it's just TOO DAMN HOT, especially 'for Penguins to just be walkin' around.'

Ahhhh...... dog vomit

2006-07-23T09:06:00.000-07:00

<-------------This is the culprit...But I can't be mad at that face for too long. The only day in weeks that I had a killer chance of sleeping in. I was soooo sound asleep at 9:00 AM Sunday morning, until I was awakened by the unmistakeable ......gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle, gurgle.......BLAH!!! Yes, Palmer puked, but not until he was out in the hallway. I get him outside and he's ok now....DAMN DOG! We pick the only dog out of a litter of 13 puppies with an irritable digestive system. So I get back inside and the wife is downstairs. I had to pee really bad by now. She doesn't..... because she walked OVER the puke in the hallway outside of the bedroom to get to the potty. So I truck it back upstairs to clean the mess up, back downstairs to throw it away, and back up to piss. Not a great start to a Sunday morning where a grueling day of yard work awaits. I know my place in life now. Bush-root diggerupper and puke cleanerupper.
There I vented, I feel better now.

NAPS RULE!!!

2006-07-20T20:50:00.000-07:00

Ahhhh, the wife left for a meeting at work at 6 tonight after I had gotten home from work. I layed down on the couch right when she was leaving. you know, watching a little of the ESPN or Seinfeld....what ever worked for me at the time. Next thing I know, I'm startled by the front door opening at 11:00 PM as she returns home from going out with the girls afterwards for a few drinks. Now it's nearly 12:00 AM and I can't even think about going right back to sleep.
Wide awake,
Dan-o

You'll Get Nothing And Like It!!!

2006-07-19T13:38:00.000-07:00

Back at the detached 8 car garage house today and the newly high school graduated son was going over what he wanted for his dorm room next year while he was away at school. They were going over the list he had created when he began the classic "I want...., and I want...., and this, and I'd like this for this....." All I could think of was Spalding and Caddy Shack. I had to leave the area of the house and move downstairs so I could laugh a little. AHHHH, the things that make us laugh in life, huh?
By the way, hey Q(aka. Rabbitt), can you get started on the above recipe for me and the Landlord. How I miss your baking skills as far as the sweets go. The wife doesn't make me cookies yet. No one's sweeter than you.<-----Does this make me an ass kisser too?

Hot Ass Day In An Attic

2006-07-18T15:02:00.000-07:00

Generally speaking, my job is a fairly technical one with very little exertion whatsoever. Today was no different only it involved getting up in an attic and pulling down wires we had prepped from a brand new 8 car garage to the clients pool house equipment rack(I know 8 car garage and pool house is too much in one sentence for the layperson, but I'm getting pretty numb to the whole $$$ and our clients, everyday is just another rich ass).
So in the very little time I spent pulling down these wires (1hour), I lost at least 50lbs. of body water, ok not really but my clothes were absolutely drenched, to the point where Mrs. Client asked if I had jumped into the pool.
All I have to say is that the hard part is done, the fun part is actually making it all work now.
Well I'm home now and I am going to relax this evening, I have done yard work the past 2 nights and have gotten done what I wanted to get finished with. Time to relax with the Palmer Dog (aka. P-Diddy,Palm,Shithead{sometimes} Good boy{other times, and Bozo}. The pic was taken after we had gotten back from the honeymoon. He was whooped from a weeks worth of running full out with my brothers Jack Russell Terr.

Pics Hopefully

2006-07-14T14:02:00.000-07:00

Lets try this again

My first week back

2006-07-14T13:35:00.000-07:00

Hey guys. It's so good to know that ALL 3 OF YOU are so eagerly awaiting my next post. Well here it is. I was dreading the return to work, but the week actually flew by. Aside from the A** kisser at work me and another fella are very close to killing, things went smooth. This newer guy is doing some serious pube flossing. He knows very little about the business and does absolutely nothing..NOTHING!!! I wish I could waste the at least 40 hours of labor walking around a house with a manual trying to look important when the boss isn't around. I don't sweat much, but A** kissers take the strawberry with white icing piece of cake. I just want to stab him in the eye with a spoon....thanks for that one Q.
'nuf said, anyway. I am doing well and finally able to get in on some of the yard work that needs tending to. I spent last evening tearing out a bunc of vines down along the back fence. It's nice to be able to get started on it all. With my surgery and then planning for the wedding, I didn't have time to do much of anything. So what do you say Q, wanna go out and do some drinking. I haven't been out for a while to a bar just to hang out and drink.....maybe it's because of the all of the smoke, but I think once in a while won't hurt.
Your friendly neighborhood married man,
Danno
PS-here's a few pics from Charleston. If they don't post I'll try again. And what's a vacation with Danno without a trip to a WWII Aircraft Carrier? It's not a trip at all man!!!! The beautiful home is the Boone Hall Plantation

Back from the honeymoon

2006-07-09T08:18:00.000-07:00

All is well here and we are home safe.
Why didn't anyone tell me that removing a memory card from a camera before it's turned off erases the pictures on the memory card. There were some good pictures of downtown Charleston on there. It was only the small card that comes with the camera, we got a new 1 gig card and I don't really know if we'll ever need to take the pics off of it.
I'll get the pics we have off of the camera later and post a few from the vaca.

Last weekend a free man

2006-06-23T15:58:00.000-07:00

Who'da Thunk it,
Dan married..........Wow. You know what, I'm ready for this.
WHAT TIME IS IT!!! GAME TIME!!!
I'm hungry it's time to eat....Bye.

A/C

2006-06-20T15:56:00.000-07:00

Ladies and gentlemen, Central air is a beautiful thing. We were dying the past few weeks on the days over 90 degrees or close to it. I went ahead and had the 40 year old furnace replaced and added central air. My boss said that A/C is the only thing worth paying for these days(when I think about it, he's right). We lucked out though because the house was built in 1938 and the house has duct work throughout, only no returns on the 2nd floor. That is my next project to tackle myself. That will be post-wedding and honeymoon though.

CORNHOLE

2006-06-18T18:53:00.000-07:00

For the lay-person, Cornhole is a beanbag game played with boards. After I read that, it didn't sound very good that Jesse was suprisingly good at cornhole for the first time.

Batchelor Party

2006-06-18T18:46:00.000-07:00

My batchelor party was last night. I had a great time. It was only a few guys, mainly the ones in the wedding party and another friend and my father and her uncle. I figured that whoever was there wanted to be there, so I had fun with who was there as opposed to who wasn't there bringing me down. Afterwards we went to my Brothers house and drank and played cornhole. My buddie Jesse was suprisingly good for a first timer. No pictures though, a Bob and Tom cardinal rule of life: Never be the guy to bring a camera to a batchelor party.

Rather be fishing

2006-06-16T16:10:00.000-07:00

I am beat! This week whooped my ACE! My company has been putting in alot of time at a job in Dayton, OH which is down to the last weeks of us being able to get in and do anything. The hardest part is that my boss which is 2nd in command of the company with all of this mayhem at work, is becoming a major Richard. I'm so glad for the weekends.
My batchelor party is tomorrow. I need a reprieve. I have also been working alot at the house recently trying to get the 1st floor renovations completed and next week we are getting central air, so the hectic life at work has crept home with me a bit.
When does it all stop?
Pictured above is me off the coast of Sannibel while we were Vaca-ing w/ the Rabbit and her hubby and friend.

In all of my glory

2006-06-12T16:39:00.000-07:00

This would be me on a vacation not too long ago in Florida. We were vaca-ing with The infamous "Running Rabbit" and her hubby. Cheers.

My first Blog

2006-06-12T16:27:00.000-07:00

A friend of mine got me interested in doing this and have finally gotten around to setting this up. (Actually I finally was able to find a name that is not used). Hopefully I'll be able to share as many interesting facts about myself as I can. This will also be a sounding board for my stresses in life. Even though life rarely stresses me. So rock on all of you people that I don't know who you are yet. I'll shut up now. Glad to meet you.
Heavy D