Friday, March 30, 2007

"If it smells like a ..........."

So I'm on my way home today after work, already having gone to deposit my check and picking up our accounting info from our taxes. I'm JAMMING to some Van Halen with the windows rolled down on this beautiful Friday before opening day. As I roll up to the stop light to turn left to get onto Cross County Highway, I catch a whif of perfume. It was a nice aroma, dont get me wrong. It was the type that only HOT women wear, no ugly women would have the gaul to wear this perfume. I turn my head to see the girl in the car next to me.....only there's no car????? 'Where is this lovely bouquet coming from?' the internal Dan asks himself. Looking around....nothing. Where...'Oh no she di' int!!!'. No other cars around me, HOWEVER, At the gas station across the street, putting me downwind of it, was a woman all done up to the hilt!!!! It had to have been her!!!! There was no woman in a car to the front or rear of me either. And to be overpowering the lovely aroma of gasoline is another thing!!! Ladies, go light on the perfume, because as a wise friend of mine once said "If it smells like a fish, it's a dish....If it smells like cologne, leave it alone."

Sunday, March 25, 2007


Ladies and Gentlemen, I know in the past I've humored you all with my luncheon endeavors. But today, I must enlighten you all on a topic that is closest to my heart.....Dinner. Last evening, Saturday, we had dinner at a place called Scotti's with another couple. (The attached menu is a little old though as the current prices a little more than what shows on the site.)
As we were deciding before the trip out on where to go, I had said I wanted something not commercialized, but I was in the mood for Italian food. So Macaroni Grill and Olive Garden were out. We came across a restaurant called Scotti's. It is downtown, easy enough to find on Vine near Court St. We weren't sure if we were going to get sat right away when we walked in because it was packed for the size it was(maybe 20-25 tables...tops). There was a table in the rear for 4 near the kitchen, one table away from the quintesential "Godfather Table". GREAT! Mark a '+' for Scotti's. The embiance was great, nice italian music and decorum. Another'+'. We had this garlic and cheese bread that made my mouth water. Keeping my mouth watering AFTER I've eaten something is worth 3 '+' marks. By the time our dinner got to the table, I was so excited. Looking around at what everyone else had ordered around us, I just couln't wait! I had the Mostaccioli ala Toscanini. If I were an idiot, I'd have fallen out of my chair, but I'm not an idiot. It was fantastic though. If I could afford a dinner like that every week, I would make it tops on my list.
To finish off the dinner, the wife and I shared a Chocolate Tiramisu. She said she never liked it, but almost creamed herself when she said she'd take a bite. So if you are wanting something nice for dinner, and willing to spend $50-60 on a nice meal, try it out, you won't be disappointed.
PS- This is me passed out in front of my car outside of the restaurant full from all of the food. Brian's sitting on the curb upset because a car backfired and he thinks I'm shot.

Sunday, March 18, 2007

Where's Ohio???

Yes folks, I have once more changed the name of my blog for reasons which give me a headache, but at the same time give me more material here. I was out of town this weekend and just rolled in a few hours ago. I was in Nashville visiting some friends of mine, and last night at their house, they threw a St. Patty's Day/Birthday Party(which I had no idea it was my friend's wife's B-day-she wanted to keep it quiet). As all of these new faces were rolling into the house to begin the festivities, one of the couples that were invited were Pat's next door neighbors. They were a younger couple who are doing fairly well for themselve at a very young age(eg. they are getting married next month on a private island in Tahiti. But are first stopping in Vegas to get married to make it legal. So basically the cermony in Bora Bora is only for the pictures I suppose.) They are a good looking couple by many standards (his heritage is Mexican and she's Puerto Rican-ohhh lala) and very friendly and approachable in conversation. As we conversed, it became very clear to me that the girl was friendly, but not so sharp(it's amazing how a person's good looks can affect your attention span vs. an ugly person).
I digress, I was telling her where I was from, as far as the city goes being Cincinnati. Now they just moved to Nashville from Chicago, fairly close to here geographically speaking. "Where's Cincinnati?" Now I already had a smile on my face so I just let it stay without giving my 'are you a, f'ing moron?' look. I told her what state it was in and how long it took to get to Nashville.
"About 4-4 1/2 hours" I say.
"Really?! Isn't Cin. way up north?"
Still smiling "No, we are right on the Ohio River, it's not too far."
"Oh, so Ohio's west of Illinois?"
"No, we're actually EAST of INDIANA." I was actually friendly through this whole conversation, not demeaning to her evident lack of the Geography bug.
Now I would have been a little more understanding if I'd been from an obscure town like Littleton, Arkansas, but Cincinnati is a fairly well know town. I mean the NFL last season pretty much put them on the map as far as having the most felons.
Please, everyone, buy a globe, it can be a normal one without the bumps and ridges, those are really hard to read cities. Just buy a round smooth one with all of the countries and states in different colors. For all of humanity.

Thursday, March 08, 2007

I've Got Gas

Ok, help me out here people. If you are, sayyyyyyy, 65 years old. If you fill up once, maybe twice a week, depending on your driving, from the time you are 16 years old to 65, how many times have you filled up at the pump in your lifetime???? You should be a seasoned veteran, right? Come on one of the Doctors, figure this out for me.
Why me, why is it always me encountering the ignorant??? I pull into the newly renovated gas station at the very end of our street on the main drag. All pumps are being used, so I do the smart thing and pull in behind the smallest car, a Ford Escort (small car+small gas tank=less time waiting for her to pump........RIGHT/a big WRONG=LONG WAIT). I'm sitting there, I listen, folks, to an entire song on my MP3 player glancing up to see if she's finished every so often....nothing yet, she's still standing there looking at the pump with it in her car's fuel door. After 3-4 minutes (again there's no way it takes an escort this long to fill up, especially since she was in the same position when I pulled into the lot). I glance up again to see her look at the screen, THEN press the 87 Octane button and THEN begins her fill up.
I can't talk about this anymore, I must eat dinner now, + I have a headache.