Sunday, October 08, 2006

Sunday Grocery Shopping

Shooter: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Gilmour: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Well it's been a while and I am back from a frustrating day at the grocery store. First of all, I'm going to address ALL old people .......'STOP DRIVING!!!!!'. THRICE I was almost hit by a rickety old person, twice while pulling into the parking lot and once while walking up to the store. And all of the old people again 'RELAX, I'm just trying to get past you to do MORE shopping...I'm NOT trying to cut in the checkout line, JESUS CHRIST!!!!' I'll give you something to whine about you old bitch, just let me get past to get my lunch food for the week and I'll be right back here in 5 minutes to kick your ass. This old bitty would not move forward the 6" necessary to pass her without cracking her arthritic ankle.
Secondly, you've got to love listening to the black women shopping for their kids at home while with a friend. (Picking out some chicken strips from the freezer and showing it to the mother) "Awww yeah, get thems, they like that shit." I had to hang out there for a little while in order to continue my immersion into this ever escalating dialect amongst the ill-educated.
Thirdly(and lastly), why on a Sunday, does the Grocery store have 6 checkouts open at 1:00 PM. Do they not understand that football is on and I have frozen food and milk in my cart. That's right, it's all about me (Q, you can relate) . Luckily, Lufawnda came over to open up the register next to my line while I was 3 away from setting my stuff up on the conveyor and I walked right up and was out of there.
Side bar: Wife, "please don't make me go back there... you said that would be a 'happy house' ".

6 comments:

RAY O'SUNSHINE said...

maybe you should avoid any and all situations that have anything to do with LUNCH. Lunch situations seems to cause you a lot of issues. Just a thought.

The Absent Minded Landlord said...

"Stan? Stan, get inside quickly!"

"What? What is it Dad?"

"It's old people, they're driving!"
--South Park

cmeddie said...

I love the grocery store... ;)

Me Myself and I said...

Up here the 'old folk' can get a special license plate for veterans...we told them it was to honour them, but really I think it was so we can identify their cars more easily!

Spacecake said...

I hate grocery shopping. And you just shared the main reasons why I hate it with the internet. Ewh, I hate all shopping and all stores... well, besides ones I can buy books, CDs and electronics from ^^

Stephanie said...

I've been hearing the squirrels (and whatever else random wildlife there is up there) BIG TIME! It scared me last night - they woke me up, and I thought someone had gotten in to the house at first!