Me again

How has everyone been. Me not so well, the wife and I have been sick over the past week and a half since we got back from the "Fantastic" family vaca we took there a few weeks ago. I am beginning to get back to my hansome self again though. I have never been so irritated with an entire groupo of people in my entire lifetime. It was ok once we had decided what we were doing for the day, but getting out of the house was like pulling teeth. It really would have been ten times better if everyone, or more people had brought their own vehicle. 4 cars and 16 people doesn't make a match. And not to mention the fact that everything had to be overdramatic when something happened or didn't happen. Come on folks, at least eat some birthday cake with me.......uh, ok nevermind, I'll eat 2 pieces and throw it out. I think the greatest part of my trip was seeing Real honest to god black bears walking right out in front of our chalet. It was nature and I love it. Somehow a black bear that can rip your arm off if you get to close to her cubs was more fun than listening to everyone bitch about something or anything.
I'm finished with that now. My computer is still whacked out with something and I think I narrowed it down to something that is attached to a Trojan virus(which is never good, and another reason I haven't had time to get on here). Something called a hacktool.proxy, I dunno. I looked it up last night and it's not a nice bug.
I'm so excited though. Saturday, this saturday, I get to go shoot at some friends. The wife's cousins and friends are all going up to this property on the west side to play a little bit of war and paintball. We did it for a batchelor party this past summer and had a blast. I'm seriously considering buying my own gun. If this becomes a regular thing, which it looks like is happening, a rental is like $50. I would have done it twice now and a gun is like $150 or something like that. I have to look at Dick's website to see for sure. Anyway, I think Frisch's is on it's way home now so I must be off.
And Q, this Sunday morning, I'll be prepping for my run for you on Thanksgiving. I'm running it twice, one for you and one for me......YEAH RIGHT, you're enough.

Sunday Grocery Shopping

Shooter: I eat pieces of shit like you for breakfast.
Gilmour: You eat pieces of shit for breakfast?

Well it's been a while and I am back from a frustrating day at the grocery store. First of all, I'm going to address ALL old people .......'STOP DRIVING!!!!!'. THRICE I was almost hit by a rickety old person, twice while pulling into the parking lot and once while walking up to the store. And all of the old people again 'RELAX, I'm just trying to get past you to do MORE shopping...I'm NOT trying to cut in the checkout line, JESUS CHRIST!!!!' I'll give you something to whine about you old bitch, just let me get past to get my lunch food for the week and I'll be right back here in 5 minutes to kick your ass. This old bitty would not move forward the 6" necessary to pass her without cracking her arthritic ankle.
Secondly, you've got to love listening to the black women shopping for their kids at home while with a friend. (Picking out some chicken strips from the freezer and showing it to the mother) "Awww yeah, get thems, they like that shit." I had to hang out there for a little while in order to continue my immersion into this ever escalating dialect amongst the ill-educated.
Thirdly(and lastly), why on a Sunday, does the Grocery store have 6 checkouts open at 1:00 PM. Do they not understand that football is on and I have frozen food and milk in my cart. That's right, it's all about me (Q, you can relate) . Luckily, Lufawnda came over to open up the register next to my line while I was 3 away from setting my stuff up on the conveyor and I walked right up and was out of there.
Side bar: Wife, "please don't make me go back there... you said that would be a 'happy house' ".

No Alcohol or Drugs involved

Jules:"Normally both of you would be dead as fucking fried chicken right now, but since I'm in a transitional period right now, I don't want to kill either one of your asses."


OHHHHHHH MAAAAAN!!!!! I must tell you all of another post lunch adventure. As we were traversing the lovely wooded roads of Indian Hill today making our way back to the family that owns Cincinnati, Mike was investigating what Brett had in his storage area behind the rear seat of his Ford Explorer. "What's back here Brett?" I hear from the passengers seat in the front. Mike seated behind Brett says "Ohhhh, Dan, take one of these!!" I turn to see a Kayak paddle being shoved in my face. We are going about 35 MPH when Mike says "Start Rowing!!!!" Without hesitation we both stick our paddles out of our respective sides of the vehicle and row viciously through an imaginary current. When we went into a curve, one of us had to row faster than the other. Passing cars was interesting seeing the reactions of the "beyond upper class assholes" either shaking their heads in disgust or giving looks of utter confusion as to what they had just seen. As we made it to the clients street., we put away our steering devices and luckily didn't wrerck the entire way back because Brett could hardly see from the tears running down his face. Sometimes you just have to let go. Total immaturity, it's what it's all about sometimes.

Slow Recovery

Ladies and Gents,
Why is it when you get older, the less and less your body's alcohol tolerance gets. Let's take myself for example. Friday night was an ordinary evening, I got home took my post workday shower, watched a little TV while knocking back a few Amber Bock's(delicious) afterwards I go to the wifes cousin's soccer game at Soccer City and get a pitcher which I had Bud light's out of. After the match we sat around and shot the breeze w hile drinking no beers at all. After I left there I met up with my sis at a local bar in Mt. Healthy (very nice people in Mt. Healthy by the way) and had 2 Bud lights there. We walked down Hamilton Ave. to Vince's bar ( a great sports bar) and I had 2 more.
Now mind you these were all spread out over the evening, and the next morning I was getting around just fine with no nausea, but a pounding headache. So, was it the combination of a few different beers or is my age getting to me. I'd hate to think it's the latter.

The Tortoise Terminator

It was a cold and rainy Friday, one in which I did not pack my lunch. The two gents and I have come to agreement on where we will take our noon hour feeding time. We slowly make our way out to our vans, which each one has only 2 seats in the front. So we take separate vans, the bosses son and I in one and Mike in the other, all alone. We pull down the long and winding driveway out to the main thoroughfair and make a left turn to make our way to the restaurant. About 1/4 of a mile or so up the road I can make out an odd shape on the road, one of which I was sure what it was when I first caught a glimpse of it, but I had to take a second look to be sure. It was something you rarely see on the white line on the side of the road. That's right, a cute little tortoise, actually it was a pretty good sized one and I, being the nature lover that I am, swerved over the center yellow line to allow myself plenty of room in order to clear him. (I would have stopped to move it over to the other side, but it is a very curvy road, plus it is in Indian Hill where the locals apparently have ZERO awareness of any traffic laws and drive in excess of 50 MPH on their local roads, straddling the yellow middle line on very regular occasions.) We pass and I Mike is right behind me talking on his phone to his wife paying no attention. I have never seen a tortoise shell have so much velocity in my life. Prior to striking the tortoise, I could tell that it had it's head tucked safely away. Mikes passenger side tire grazed, and when I say grazed I mean just enough to give it a slight downward pressure on the front 1/32 of and inch on its shell, and then SHOOOOOOM!!!!! That tortoise shot sideways back into the woods from which it came from. I can honestly say that I believe that the tortoise is alive and well. One more inch to the left, and this would never had happened......but one more to the right, and Mike would forever be known to me as......The Tortoise Terminator!!!!!!

GREAT MONDAY

Burgundy: "Have any one of you experienced true love"
Brick: "I love carpet"
Burgundy: "Seriously guys (disregarding Brick's statement)"
Brick: "I love lamp"
Burgundy: "Brick, are you just looking at things and saying that you love them"
Brick: "I LOVE LAMP!!!"

I can't say that I've had a better monday in a while. Even though I was actually on a job site, I think it was as productive a day as Friday. We had our racks delivered to a job site today to begin tie in to the house wires we pulled. Only we weren't sure on the exact placement of the racks so it was lunch before we figured out a good spot. We ate lunch and I sent out the fella I was with to pick up the stuff needed to cut holes in the steel cans and the flex conduit to run it through. Only halfway through his journey he gets pulled off to another job right down the street without me knowing and doesn't get out of there until 4:30(cleanup time). I was a beautiful rainy Monday. Perfection.

When the cat's away......

Bender: "Does Barry Manilow know that you raid his wardrobe?"

Oh people, today was a good day at work, if you want to call it that. The 2 bosses are in Denver for the yearly CEDIA (Custom Electronics Design and Installation Association) convention. It's pretty cool, I went the last 2 years, but it's all the same stuff with maybe a few new items added to them to make them a little better. Anyway, enough of that, today was great. We did NOTHING for the day. We were supposed to go down to AFG to replace 2 video scalers, but they never came in from UPS, so while we waited, we sat in the theater and watched Saving Private Ryan, afterwards we took a little break from watching the Kaleidescape. So we went to lunch, Brett the progammer and I went to Jersey Mikes, I had the classic Philly Cheesesteak w/ no peppers( a must if you've never tried). We took a stroll down to Planet Smoothie and I got a small Chocolate Elvis (peanut butter, yogurt, chocolate, and ice). It was ok, but I'm sure there's better flavors. So when we had enough of the lunch scene, we made our way back to the shop hoping that by 1:00 the scalers would be in.....they weren't. What are we going to do???? We couldn't think of a thing, so we sat back down in the theater thinking maybe the nice comfy leather theater seats would help us think.....they didn't. Magically the Projector kicked on and the channel switched to a Showtime channel. It was time for Kung Fu Theater!!!!! "The Master of the Flying Guillotine". Quite entertaining for the full duration, alot of action and I believe, yes I believe that I have a new favorite movie format. It was made in 1975, the year I was conceived and born. It still had an entertainment factor that was undeniable, how can you ignore that or even push the 'System Off' button on the touch panel. I'll tell you from experience, you can't. And when we turned to our bosses son to get him to check UPS, it was apparent he did not have the same appreciation for the showing. He was sprawled across 2 of the 4 seats behind us out like a light. Yes, I can officially say that today was the MOST unproductive day at work I've ever had. At 3:00, I gave up on UPS and left. I'm not going downtown after 3:00 on a Friday, especially after the ass-busting we did today. Screw That!!!!!

TIME OUT!!!!

Bobby Boucher "I like college and I like football, and I'm gonna keep doing them both because they make me happy........And I like Vicki Vallencourt, and she showed me her boobies, and I like them too."

Sorry I missed the last quote so I had to make it up with a good one. So how is everybody? I feel great today, I really do. I don't know what the deal was with me today. Last night the wife was pissed at me because all I've been doing over the past few days is watching sports"HELLOOOOO, the start of a new football season+the Reds still hanging on hope for a playoff spot." But I went to bed and woke up this morning, feeling great. I don't know if I had a Come-to-Jesus over night in my dreams, but I kind of felt a little guilty.......nahhhhh, not me. Maybe though. I like sports, and when I can't physically be there, I like to watch sports on TV. But I do have a wife now, right, as I was LISTENING to the Reds game in extra innings last night as I lay in bed(I thought this would be semi-productive on my need for rest and need for sports)I know, it's terrible, but I was tired and I wanted to know the outcome, so if I did fall asleep, at least subliminally I'd know the score. Hey Doc., any suggestions on how to split the time or even combine the 2. I thought of slipping her some pills as I watched the game while she sits next to me for the first half an hour or so, just so she can fall asleep with me, and that way we can be together AND I have sports. Probably not too cool though. Maybe I'll just have to suck it up and ACTUALLY spend some"quality time" with her. Yeah, I suppose that will be the best way to handle it. I'll save the pills for plan B.
The above is a pic with me and the ring bearer Blake from the wedding(obviously). I've been trying to get it posted, but for some reason, up until now, it wouldn't.

Back To Normal

OK,
My rant is complete and even though I'm still fed up with our wellfare system, if you want to call it that(it's more like crap-fare), I hada wonderful time last night with my wife and friends and family at the Cincinnati Reds game. They won a game finally and I got a free beer, FROM THE CONCESSION STAND, not bought by someone else, it was just free. Their register was screwed up and I waited forever so the guy was just like"go ahead and take it". And I did, and it was good. I didn't look back, I did not ask "are you sure?", I just took it and walked away quietly, like a man who had just experienced a very uncomfortable moment with another man would. The game itself was entertaining, the after concert by Paul Otten Band was pretty cool(great live music), and the visit at Q and the AML's house afterwards was enchanting(good beer, good food, and dizzy-ing conversation). It was like BW3's without the wings and 50 televisions. Anyway, the wife had a good time which is what it was all about.
People watching is great. By the 6th inning, a grown woman easily in her 40's, dressed like she was a 15 year old, was drunk as a skunk, screaming and yelling for Ryan Freel. He glanced over once and simply raised his hand in her direction. This made her evening, but made the screaming and yelling even worse, because naturally now, this meant Freel was interested. Let's leave the fact that her husband/boyfriend was right next to her. Simply amazing is the 40 year old female alcoholic psyche. "Hey bitch, have another one will ya!!"

Irate!!!!!

Michael Corleone: "Fredo, you're my older brother and I love you, but don't ever take sides with anyone against the family again. Ever."


Sorry to bring you guys down on this one, but I get pissed off every time I think or hear about this topic. I am speaking of the 3 year old Marcus Fiesel who was MURDERED several weeks ago. I keep up to speed on what's going on in the world by listening to talk radio on my headset during the day. And when the News breaks in every so often, and I hear of new findings by the police, other investigators, and the county coroner, I get so furious. I can't yell out loud because there are others working around me. The boy was taped up with packing tape, hands bound, and wrapped in a blanket, stuffed in a closet with the A/C turned off for 2 days in 95 degree heat. Who does this? And the real mother is another issue. This fat ass has taken the system and made it her lifestyle. All she had to do is get a doctor to give her a medical/mental disability label, and she's off to the races. She doesn't have to work because of it, she gets tax money, our money!!!!!!!!.....for those responsible enough to work, and she feels even more incentivised to have THREE children, all of which were fathered by a different man, AND she gets money for them.....Guess what, apparently she's pregnant again! Where does this stop?! He was a paycheck, and I'm sure many others are treating these kids as paychecks. This child, if he lived on, would probably never experienced childhood, even in a foster home because the Carrolls recieved money also from being foster parents. Again, a paycheck. AND she has a class action lawsuit for 5 million because she claims she wanted to regain custody soon, she was turning her life around. A(When have we heard this one before??? Ummmm, let's see everytime a drug deal goes bad.) So, AGAIN, in death even, the child is a paycheck. She, not once, attempted to set up visiting arangements to see this child she"loved".

Anyway, he was suffocated, doused with gasoline, burned, doused several more times, set on fire several more times, and whatever wasn't burned was put in a bag and dumped in the Ohio river. And then had the gaul to use the system AGAIN and have a massive search for a child they knew they killed. These mother fuckers need a pounding, BAD.


I bust my ass, to get what money I have, I pay for my own medical/dental insurance, my house, my food, .....and when I go to the doctor, I have to pay even more(co-pay). These people<----yes, that is a class of people, get medical, dental, AND legal representation, whenever they feel they need it(not only when a crime is committed by them) all of which has been labeled as FREE. Well, it's not free, nothing is free. The money comes from somewhere, and it's not the sky, it comes out of all of OUR pay. These people see an incentive for being unresponsible, with no job, and a promise of steady money by having more and more children. Sounds like a pretty good deal doesn't it? Everyone's a victim. It's easier to point a finger than to take responsibility for yourself. I mean to have someone take care of you for the rest of your life. I'm done, I've got other shit to do tonight.

Mogwai

Ulysses Everitt McGill: Well, isn't this place just a geographical oddity. Two weeks from everywhere.

That's right, straight out of the Gremlins movies, Mogwai. The small furry creature, Gizmo. That's what the two cute furry little Cockapoo's looked like today at the clients house I was at. How much work did you get done Dan? Not much. They are puppies from the same littler and are only 2 months old. Luckily my tasks today involved sitting on the floor and making up ends for the video distribution. SO I had the said Mogwai's both in my lap and fighting, wrestling with each other, then me, then sleeping for about a half an hour, then both awakening and realizing there was no wrestling going on, and wrestling ensued once again.
Olive and Palmer say: "No more animals Danno. No more. We are the chosen ones."

Ahhh, the Fantasy

Randall: "People say crazy shit during sex. One time I called this girl 'Mom'."

OOOHHHHHH People, it is fantasy football time again. My brother and I had our draft last night with all of the guys from his work at the USPS(no, not the entire USPS). It was Nuuuuuuts. This may sound a little queer, but I really like just being around guys once in a while. Not for the queer reason, but to get loud, and bullshit, and trashtalk, and drink beer, and eat pizza and bbq weiners, and laugh at the stupid shit that everyone else is saying.
For the lay-persons, Fantasy football is an activity which involves one persons picks over anothers. One night every year before the football season, guys get together and pick 1 player each round, 16 times. These players are the players you think will score the most points, catch/recieve for the most yards, etc. It can get a little tricky though, especially when one of your favorite teams(ie. the Bengals) is playing against one of your players that you picked for your team. So if I have the Seattle Defense, which I do, and the Begals are playing them that week, I am in personal quandry. I want Palmer and Rudi and Chad-boy to do great!!!! But I also want my team Defense to get a lot of points as well. It's deep I know, but it's fun, and it's also great when you might be watching highlights of a particular game and some random joe-shmo is shown catching a 90 yard TD pass and he happens to be on your team playing that week and you jump up and scream "Yeah" and no one knows why.....it's the little things that make me happy, I'm easy.

Body Guard

This is supposed to be a happy occasion. Let's not bicker, and argue about who killed who...

So we're at the very important Cincinnati man's house yoday and we are getting there in the morning after he leaves. But in his stead will be 1 of his bodyguards at the penthouse staying there w/ us. Now, as we are going up in the elevator, in my mind I'm picturing a Ving Rhames-esque sized black man with a black leather coat and a side-arm. Instead, as he opens the door, the man is no more intimidating than the dad on the hit TV show, ALF. Don't get me wrong, he's a nice enough guy, but if your wanting someone to take a bullet for you, I'd want someone with a little more body mass. I can only hope that the other bodyguard has a little more of an authoritative presence.

Excitement!!!!

Airplane
Capt. : You ever been in a cockpit before?
Joey: No sir, I've never been up in a plane before.
Capt. : You ever seen a grown man naked?

I didn't think I'd ever be this excited about a preseason game but it happened. I woke up this morning all a flutter and it's all I could do not to get on everyones nerves at work. I can't wait to see how Carson Palmer does tonight. I named my beloved hound dog, Palmer, after him. We are getting him a doggy Palmer jersey for Pete's sake(who is Pete anyway?) My day was shortened today which made it even better. I went to the dentist and had a routine cleaning, and all is well in my mouth. My gums look good and I just need to try to pay a smidgen amount more of attention to the way back by my wisdom teeth, it's a pain in the ass but I try and try. Any tips there, Dr. Tooth Decay???? Welcome back Palmer and Pollack. Go get 'em, tigers!!!

By Jove I think he's got it!!!

Inigo Montoya: " You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

I am a copy and pasting FOOL!!!! I am going to try and dabble a bit over the next week. Thanks to The Landlord, I've got a hold on this copy and pasting thing. I was telling our programmer that I worked with today about it, that I learned to copy and paste, and he said that suprisingly, in alot of you're computer seminars, that's the one thing that people just can't grasp sometimes. Hey thanks Mr.Q. You're the greatest!!!

The Black Water

Caddy Shack:
Carl: " So I jump ship in Hong Kong and make my way over to Tibet, and I get on as a looper at a course over in the Himalayas. (Explaining to the caddy) A looper, you know, a caddy, a looper, a jock. So I tell them I'm a pro jock, and do you know who they give me? The Dali Lama himself. Twelfth son of the Lama. The flowing robes, the grace, bald......striking. So I'm on the first tee with him and I give him the driver. He hauls off and whacks one....big hitter the Lama....long, into a 10,000 foot crevasse, right at the base of this glacier. Do you know what the Lama says? 'gunga galunga....gunga, gunga-galunga'. So we finish the eighteenth and he's gonna stiff me. And I say 'Hey Lama, how about a little something, you know, for the effort, you know?' And he's says 'Oh, uh, there won't be any money, but when you die, on your deathbed, you will recieve total consciousness.' So I got that goin' for me, which is nice."

One of my favorites above. A new client of ours is moving into an old clients house. Q, you know the family. And the previous owners did not open their inground pool this year while they were busy moving to their temporary abode while their new home in Indian Hill is under construction. I digress, The new people who are friends with the old owners, had their pool opened this week while we have been working there. I was taking a breath of fresh air and went outside on the patio over the pool as they uncovered it. The water was BLACK!!! Nasty, and stinky7. I almost vomited. The pool was below me and out about 25 feet and the stench from the water would have killed a roach from where I was. This was Tuesday. Today being Thursday, and tomorrow Friday, they are planning to use it this weekend for the kids while they are having their furniture moved in. The water is crystal clear now.
My whole thing here is that it's August, 1 WEEK away from when pools are closed all over the place. What's the point???? Why????? You know why, and it is always my answer to myself when I question the logic of the Rich, and very kind, people that I work for. Why???? Because they can, that's why. The $$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$$ it takes to do something doesn't matter, as long as it gets done when they want it done. I like that, I admire that. Good stuff right there. Ahhh the life.

Dinner was excellent tonight

Lancelot: "Look my leige!!!!"
Arthur: "Camelot!!"
Galahad: "Camelot!!"
Lancelot: "Camelot!!"
Patsy: "It's only a model."
Arthur: "SHH!!!"

The wife made up this pasta dish tonight that was excellent. Bowtie noodles with all fresh vegatables (carrots, broccoli, onions, garlic). It was so good, I wish I would have taken a picture of it, it was really pretty too. I could take a picture of it later but I don't think it would look as pretty.
I'm getting charged. My buddie that is over in Iraq right now gets home around the 9th of Sept.
He's the one pretty much in the center of the picture next to the Iraqi in the white gown. This was taken next to the Tigris river. He can't wait to get here since he is a big beer drinker and they have ZERO alcohol over there. So whenever he gets in and we decide on drinking nights, I'll give a shout out. By the way, he's a company Cmdr. in the US Army, and he's single with a 2004 Corvette so if there are any single ladies out there interested, let me know and I'll see what I can manage. When he gets here. Yeah, I guess that makes me his pimp.

I'm Hit, I'm Hit!!!

Paul : "I usually don't pimp out my friends, but I have a piece of property I'd like to show you."
Moments later-Martin Blank : "Debbies House."
Paul :" Yeah, it kind of crept up on you didn't it?"
Martin Blank : pausing "No, you drove us here."


A great Friday in Dan land. And easy day at work all by myself.... nice and relaxing. So, I get home and begin to make my vanilla protien shake that I make every day before and after work. Keep in mind just yesterday the wife looks at me while I'm making it and about has a coniption fit that I'm not using the lid. It barely goes up the sides and NEVER even comes close to shooting out the top. So I thought I'd spice things up a bit today......throw in an old ice cube to thicken it up a bit, you know? With no lid, I hit the blend mode and an IED goes off in the kitchen. I'm soaked, the walls are splattered, the cieling gets it too. I turn around, and to my horror, the dog's HIT!!!! An innocent by-stander just trying to eat his dinner gets riddled all the way down the side of his body. He takes off and licks his wounds. I'm left to clean the aftermath. Moral to the story, use a lid.

Dumb

Harry: slamming the door "I lost my job today."
Lloyd Christmas: "MAAAAAAN, you are one pathetic loser....no offense."
Harry: "No, none taken."

My 2nd workout went very well tonight. I was hoping to go back last night but was still very sore from the first time back. Today was a good day though as far as not having any tightness or soreness.
We started a new job today...I should say we have a new client that bought an old clients abode. It's been very nice and I have missed going there just for the view asa I work. I can't disclose publicly who it is but he is a very important man and the view of downtown is spectacular. If you go to my company's web site www.malanassociates.com, you'll see it there. It also helps when the client is down to earth.
As long as we're on the subject, I can't wait for the football season to begin. College, highschool, pro...I don't care. I can just see the Reds crapping down their legs here in the next several weeks, so it's on to football.

Request by the Dr.

Nathan Johnson: "The new phone books are here! The new phone books are here!.....I'm somebody!!!"

My first workout since my surgery went great and everything feels in order. No kinks. Tomorrow after a days rest I hit it again in the evening. I'm starting out light though just to get everything back in motion. I noticed my hands were hurting a bit while benching..... Arthritis I suppose.